Wizard In Danger – Welcome To Anti-Hop

Artist: Wizard In Danger
title: Welcome To Anti-Hop
keywords: experimental, ambient, electronic, industrial, house, vaporwave
label: Garbage Men Puking Netlabel http://garbagemenpukingnetlabel.bandcamp.com

Let me tell you.. or… excuse me.. Let me inform you about the Anti-Hop movement.
It’s a phenomena coming from the united states of the Americana’s and consist exclusively of creative sound engineers that like to dress up in floppy bunny costumes. They do this not to be cute, but actually to feed the people who have a phobia for people dressed in bunny costumes.
4Dressed like this they go to happenings where they walk (they refuse to hop) around showing off their furry bunny fluff, planting chocolate poisoned eggs for the kids and if they are in a very good mood; listen to pleasant Anti-Hop music.
2There is no real need to be dressed as a bunny to enjoy the Anti-Hop music side of this moving movement, as without; I can grantee you that your ears will be obviously pleased when tuned in Anti-Hop music. As it is actually not just a ‘Fuck You’ to anyone who enjoys Hopping or hop-music:
but pretty much energetic good content!
9One album seems to be a favorite among the Anti-Hop movement,
and it’s no surprise that it is released by the always cleverly twisted Garbage Men Puking netlabel.
7It comes as three lengthy tracks that shouldn’t be seen as one track, but more as an energetic set of wonder. The first session ‘I Look In Your Eyes When You Fuck Me Because I Love Being Scared Of You’ is undefinably cute! It might be strange to hear that with an imaginative title to hide behind; but it is the truth. It is probably done to protect the artist and the secretive Anti-Hop music away from nasty people who just come because they love Hop-music and want something to bash.
6You can’t be bashing or trashing this part of the Anti-Hop release as big chance all humans that don’t give a shit about hopping around, or hop-music; will be happy to “jump’ in! What a joy this session of more than 10 minutes is! It is all over the place, but yet steady and happy with a nice dose of energy; but not up and down too much; so to avoid hopping at all times! It’s really fun, creative, and energetic and will be just as much enjoyed for members and non-members of the Anti-Hop movement. (Although I must admit, after hearing this album; I got myself some anti-hop bunny ears!)
8The next part of the favorite sound anthems that people in the Anti-Hop movement enjoy is called ‘We Can’t Call People Without Wings Angels, So We Call Them Friends.’ This title reveals that this movement is secretly all about love, as who doesn’t like cat people. People, not so much.. But Cat People are lovely! That’s why a rather large part of the extreme militant group within the Anti-Hop movement is also consisting of furry friends and cat lovers. It goes hand in hand, as there are no cats that enjoy Hop-Music. I guess the big connection between them two and this specific release is that ‘cat people’, Anti-Hop-people, and ‘this Anti-Hop’ album are all superbly NON BORING!
Yes, from one moment the track goes for a sleepy feel good vibe, and without pulling your legs you suddenly get a treatment of gambling machines going berserk, rattling sensations, and extreme fun!
All without hopping! Because Fuck Hopping!
5The last surprising anti-Hop surprise in the music way is named ‘The Way You Talk To Me Reminds Me Of The Way Older Children Would Insult Me’, and it’s a twenty minute + extravanganza of experimentation. It begins with exclusive finger pulling, a bit of fine slapstick, comical anti-hopness and then slowly a kind and loving massage with odd sounds as massage-tools!
3Yes, the Anti-Hop movement is a delicate kind of crowd; they might not like to hop, but they certainly do like to enjoy crazy action and some nice chill pill movements on the side!
Download here and download now (you can get your bunny costume later!)

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dj physique magnifigue – ep 1

artist dj physique magnifigue
title: ep 1
cat: 20k106
keywords: microhouse, lobit
label: 20kbps http://20kbps.sofapause.ch/
reviewer: Leo Obit

Back in the history books of the internet there was a label that still exist because of firmly rooting its firm roots in the underground. This label is 20kbps, a great source for lobit files that also feature the pleasure that comes with the occasional music. Back in the days on this label there was a new release by dj physique magnifigue. It was named ‘ep 1’ and had a special effect on my ears. Not only did it tickle them with music, but it also seemed to be some kind of data nutrition for the inspirational parts of the mind.

Yes, this release brought back the joy of collective chip chop hop electronic sampling bleep beep blob wop scooby doodelidoo Woop scoop. Sorry. I couldn’t stop myself from writing some obnoxious words to express how these two tracks seem to work. Yes, it’s only two tracks, but just like that saying ‘never look inside a horse his mouth’ it’s enough to write some random words about. I’ve listened to these tracks recently, reliving the good old days of the good old internet; and it has to be said; they are not out of date! In fact if they would have come out now in this future, they would still sound modern and believable.

What does this all mean, you might think? It probably means that if you would see the historic archive of the  20kbps netlabel as some kind of time capsule buried in the underground and now dug up to check it out; its content would be surprisingly new instead of retro. Isn’t that amazing? Yes, it certainly is. Is it free?
Oh yes, oh yes it certainly is:

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Maltez – po-16 symphony

Artist: Maltez
title: po-16 symphony
cat: 8R098
keywords: IDM, electroacoustic, lobit
label: 8Ravens http://8ravens.blogspot.com/

Like a fortunate wave of insaneness ‘Maltez’ brings a fine monologue of mono lobit fuckery. This might be our ear savior; bringing a ridiculous radical mix of ground breaking arcade machinery that is going nuts in a braindance versus cough syrup kind of way. By inserting a fine hint of happy victorious forms of melody, the whole eccentric happening (that seems to be made for one ear only) gets a refined fineness over it.

To me this *probably* live session comes across as an action game that has never been made, but should have been made! Luckily Maltez already crashed a crash course of the soundtrack for this wonderful game, and now it’s just a matter of time some nerdish programmer will hear it. I hope this smart person will get inspired enough to indeed make the right fitting game for it. I think it should have a Super Mario / Spongebob Square pants feel with added lollipop cuteness, and special wild effects that make you feel as if you have been spinning around for hours on a chair with wheels under it.

It’s frantic action, hitting buttons and dancing like a karate panda bear to be able to give this explosive experimental electronica session the great amount of respect that it so deserves. Are you still with me? Oh well, I guess there is no need to be with me as the music is actually somewhere else. In fact it’s waiting for your single ear only at the following sexy link, go and check it out (and save your other ear):

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Shinji – Myst

Artist: Shinji
Title: Myst
Keywords: electronic, composed, Melodic, classical, dream pop, paris
Label: URL Future http://www.urlfuture.com/

This album starts with a slight sizzling sound that seems to open up like a flower’s knob. There it stands firm in the sun, providing a fine ambient atmosphere while a high hiss keeps the place eccentric and slightly on the edge. Nice material for being awake and in drastic need for music that calmly does its thing.

Than the album really seems to be taking off by providing a top tune named ‘Vers Les Etoiles’. This is the electronic music that gets people who love synthesizers in this dark mood that deserves to be complemented by wearing sunglasses at night and day. It’s the music that brings power to the surface, making listeners harder and not afraid to blow a punch if needed. Excellent tune!

Then ‘Inner Mind’ kicks in and it’s another most needed electronic ass kicking! Here a berserk fest of lasers are empowering the lucky listeners to great lengths. It’s as if you are the rechargeable battery and this music is filling you up with new energy.

It is a perfect gift that is as appreciated as the following tune is. It’s named ‘Helixir’ and is one that reached the skies of fulfilling happiness in the electronica expert fields of music. It’s all very happy and easy going, yet not easy to be copied as this part of the music is all about a positive attitude and receiving good vibes. You might as well hum along with the wordless text and absorb them for a right amount of instant joy.

Delicate is next, and this is the part that opera fans might get off their chairs and double check their hearing in case they hear something else, than the rest of us. Yes, this is the closest to classical music you will probably get within this album; but yet it sounds modern, futuristic and strangely fitting with all the electric goodies that are presented here.

The next work is ‘Utopia’ which is another tune that shows off the diversity in music skills without falling ever in repetition. This is sounding like a ‘theme’ track, something that would fit some series soundtrack with mystery, detectives, clues, hints and perhaps even a bit of extraterrestrial X-files.

This album never stops bringing amazement and surprises, and the petite sounding ‘Tiny Keepsake’ is just another example of that. The sound of a minstrel caressing a cherished instrument, for a short but pretty melodic moment.

But in case if you already liked this little surprise on this surprisingly diverse album; you’ll probably find yourself in ecstasy when the ultimately pretty and dreamy original sounding ‘behind the screen’ comes in. Here a song is played out so wonderfully, so sincerely done that it almost have a certain holiness over it that easily might pull a couple of tears from the corner of your eyes. It is simply one beautiful piece as everything is in balance with dreamy music and the perfect suited angelic male voice. Probably one of the best emotion triggers that I heard for quite some time: I don’t know about you, but I love it! And no, unlike other reviews I actually mean it; I’m very intrigued by this album of Shinji…

The next piece doesn’t go down under the greatness of ‘behind the screen’ as ‘things left behind’ is probably the best settlement to be super gluing the tracks on this album tightly together. Here a sentimental piece with a melodramatic touch plays itself out, and it fits perfectly as a haven to get our minds back in order again.

Than ‘Empty Dreams’ appear, delivering a sensible piece of empty dream pop in which you can just feel it would fit perfectly to be played on those grey rainy days, as some kind of source for warmth to get you through it. It is coming across as a quick song, but it might also be just gentle; as it gives the way to the final  ending that is ‘Corrupted Data’. Here the album softly shimmers itself out as if it wears soft flipflops and carefully slips out the speakers so to not to disturb any listeners, and slightly preparing for the silence that comes when the album is finished.

But trust me, you do not want it to be finished; you’ll be leaving the door unlocked so Shinji can slip back in, and provide much more of all this beautiful stuff! Never a single bore to find on this intriguing pretty album! Highly recommended and findable over here, or here:

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Sacha Müller – 8k Techno

artist: Sacha Müller
title: 8k Techno
keywords: techno, electronic, lobit, 8kbps
label: 8ravens http://8ravens.blogspot.com/

8Ravens is probably one of the bravest and tightest netlabels around that keeps its focus on a specific part of music that might as well be called the new kind of punk. Where punk now gets a popular stand in every board room and has blended in with normal day popular culture; the releases released by 8Ravens are still waving their middle fingers up in the air by not caring if you dig it or not.

Lately the heaven for 8kbps lobit lovers aka 8Ravens has been rocking out some fine techno/anti techno releases that hopefully keep the spirit around of experimentation and ‘shove a finger up your arse’, as the electronic dance scene (with the help of every day Americans finally dipping in) has become a devastating ‘when will the bass drop’ let’s go slaughter the slaughter house party. Half shaven long haired ugly twats, biologically in corrected mouse heads and playback deejays like Paris Hilton all cater the crowd with stuff so hiply labeled ‘EDM’ while money floats in their pockets. It’s a scene that destroys, but not in a punk way. It’s a scene that hopefully dies out soon, but if not; please don’t be afraid to seek hail and safety in the glorious extreme hole of 8kbps-awesomeness that is 8Ravens.

A place where underground is still underground, techno and anti-techno are the real thing, and (thanks to perfect compression) the sound always sounds excellent! You should check out Jjoth’s latest anti techno techno album, or perhaps the 8kbps work of someone we know as Toxic Chicken to get a dip of the diversity that this label has been putting out in all it’s might and laid-back glory. But most of all, you should try out this full length lobit 8k techno album by one of the real kings of underground music. His name is everywhere and he does everything; from releasing physical releases packed with his own feces to bringing the voluminous acid back at the latest floppy diskette festivals!

This is Sacha Müller, a master of everything but especially framed and hailed in its realer than real techno in your face scene. And here he delivers this fantastic 8kbps techno album to not only proof my point that 8ravens is the gatekeeper for the real thing, but also that Sascha Müller is back fighting with grooves and beats to destroy all the flakes and the fakes; carefully putting back the middle finger in hypnotic punk ass dance techno music.

Good luck trying to resist these fine instant techno stompers. With so much knowledge and total skills Sascha Müller takes no breaks, no fancy haircuts, no biologically incorrect rat heads or any other bullshit & excuses; but delivers exactly all the right ingredients for a pleasurable lobit techno session that will last forever and ever!

Headphones are recommended to completely zone in cyber techno space, although blasting this in all it’s bombastic loudness through speakers will definitely also work; besides it will please the neighbors as you know what they say ‘Sharing is Caring’. But whatever and however you are listening to Sascha Müller’s lobit dance fest, you can guarantee feel the instant vibes that gets the head masterfully bubbly and bouncy. The wobbling baseline, the never failing pounding base-kick, the added decorative sample here and there; it all is done into pure perfection and that it’s all out there in 8kbps is absolutely a marvelous source for warmth and pleasure!

To hell with big ass EDM festivals, to hell with ugly shit haircuts , rat heads and Barbie dolls: listen to Sascha Müller and enjoy extreme lobit techno how it supposed to be!

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Furchick – Suck

Artist: Furchick
title: Suck
keywords: electronic, ambient, experimental, field recordings, noise, punk, science, London
label: Fag Ash Records

Furchick opens ‘Suck’ with some lose lightweight collage of cowgirl whistling, rattle snake drum chop , Dadaist counting duck impressions, and an sniff of seedy mystery. It has the effect of being in some kind of low lying feverish situation that gets better before turning up the body Heath again.

Heavy Breathing Down The Throat Of Love’ stamps in like a wet smothering kiss that gets your whole face covered in wet saliva. Fur Chick loops this cheeky way of rhythm making so to make space for her out of touch van driving backwards beep impressions. Fur Chick is handling vocal play while carefully collecting air while half choking on the throat of love quite well. It’s a good suck, love would say.

The ‘Suck’ continues with probably one of my favorite personal tracks on this release. It’s one track named ‘eat those bickies’ and comes with a nice psychological psychedelic effect that makes vague sounding processed horny horns into something digestible in a pleasant way.

In a track named ‘It Rained Today’ I feel it’s the moment that we meet Furchick a step more. Here we hear fur chick sing, sentimentally report a weather and a activity report. You can hear the window wipers, happy wet frogs and other creatures doing their atmospheric thing. It’s strangely romantic, and it’s here that Furchick might get intimate with a few lucky listeners.

‘Requiem for a seedy sleep in’ does its successful best to suck me in to some kind of sucky trance. Don’t think DJ Triesto kind of trance, but the real thing in which all reality becomes surreal and surrealism becomes reality. Feverish dreams might be a bit nightmarish, but this seedy dream session of music is warm, friendly and actually kind of horny. (And this time there isn’t even a vague horn needed!)

The ‘Suck’ continues this pleasant mystery atmosphere, with nice harmonics and a spoonful of poetic wordplay. Voices become sounds, sounds become tones and this music becomes our medicine of choice.

Tatjana Serserko meets Furchick on the next chapter in this installment of great suckness. It makes me think to note down that just like the name of this ‘blog’ “Suck” is a suggestible name. Most people presume ‘Suck’ must be bad, but trust us; it’s a pleasure and a keyword to top notch quality and experience. And this countdown collaboration is like a dream in which there is no gravity, walls can be walked through and stone floors are soft as pillows. There is a bit of wink to what the music making witches are presenting us on a frequent basis, but unlike them; Furchick and mystery friend really gets a pleasant spell out, making me feel like a hypnotized happy freak of nature.

‘Bad Hair Day’ goes for a drastic loopy progression in which the strangeness of bakery sounds are strangely keeping me wobbling from excitement on my reviewing chair. The music is like spinning with my mind, going for grooves without getting groovy, going for a dance without providing class book ‘dance’ music, going for a rhythm that not all percussionists would die for; but admire in secret behind closed doors along with their undisclosed sticking-things-in-things-fetishes. It’s rather ridiculously good, you know?

The Accursed Share is another fictive or real (what’s reality anyway?) collaborator on ‘Suck’. I feel like it’s a strange meeting of cats that sit on a fence in the night and meow their song but now with almost human sounding words. I could listen to it all day, but for protective reasons I won’t; but you might go for it at home. It’s this kind of work that allows a brewing kind of evening atmosphere in that is part lunacy, and part decency after losing your mind at a fun fair ride. Pretty!

‘Coming Down In Coral Bay’ is sounding like another instant classic that goes for a fine recognizable crunchy sound that is formatted in such a way that the brain can easily digest it. Without thinking too much about it, you’ll probably also sit still in this brainwave of sound, sailing it comfortably with a boat of non-thoughts and feel like a reborn baby after a brainwash purification session.

No album would be ever complete without a remix by ‘LoMax’, and Furchick is one of these rare chicks that has managed to get LoMax on board of the ‘Suck’. The result? Going down in history books with a hypnotic psychedelic dance of experimentation in which hypnotized listeners stumble on top of each other in a progressive happy way. A perfect way to end this lovely album!
You really should check it out and get your mind sucked in a pleasant way!

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Superhand – Bass And Guns

1artist: Superhand
title: Bass And Guns
keywords: single, massive attack, portishead, electronic, band,
words by: Bertus Ullshit

Hey Yeah I know it sucks,

New electronic band ‘Superhand’ release new single ‘Bass And Guns’ as a taster to their forthcoming EP entilted ‘American Teeth’, they are currently based inthe mountains of  Mid Wales, Portishead meets Massive Attack in my eyes, let me know what you think and if they are suitable for the show,


Aled Thomas
Beast PR

Dear Aled Thomas,

Thanks for asking; at the moment I’m thinking what show you are referring too. But before reading your PR mail I was actually thinking about ice cream. Chocolate ice cream to be specific. But as this thought has now left the mind, wandering what show you are talking about; I guess the answer to one part of your question is ‘I’m thinking about what, who and which show?’. Perhaps you are thinking of Yeah I Know It Shugs the Dog and Pony Broadway show? We’ve got unfortunately nothing to do with that, mate.

Or perhaps you mean to ask if we think that this band is ready to be shown in the real world? In case that’s the case; well why the hell not? It’s obvious that you don’t need our honest opinion to decide if the band is ready or not. Our blog is (I’m afraid) not entirely a portal for success, or a great way to research if something goes through some approval rating or not. In fact if the band is proper lousy and terrible, there is a big chance we praise it into super stardom; that’s the honest truth dear PR person.

On a side note; I hope your eyes are alright. As sincerely speaking; to have Portishead and Massive Attack clashing inside of them, could be quite the invitation for checking them out at a closest optician. I’ve had once a fly that had flown in one of them, and that was already  a pretty painful and uncomfortable eye encounter. I can’t even think how it must have felt with Massive Attack and Portishead stuck in those pupils.  Wish you all the best with that.

But let us get to the point. A new electronic band named ‘Superhand’ right. Is this correct? Or was perhaps the name ‘Superband’ already taken? I don’t know why, (I guess it’s the perverted mind) the band name made me think of a super wank. I mean with a Superhand you should probably expect superior wanking..
This can be a positive thing, or a negative one; totally depends if that’s the image the new electronic band would like to be associated with.

As for the music; it’s alright. Doesn’t come across that electronic, more like alternative-I-don’t-know-what-to-call-it. It can certainly be something and would probably be out of place at the Dog and Pony Show, but a show with music bands that had gathered in your eyes would probably not all that bad. In fact if people really would like an opinion of the YIKIS-people I would say that it would be a good show with this ‘Superhand’ on board.

A little google search brought my ears and eyes even to a video of this ‘Bass and Guns’ single, and it’s really not bad at all. You might want to include it in your next promotional PR mail; visuals are always important, especially if they are moving, and come with the music.
The lack of Superhands in Superhands might be a bit disappointing, but the use of visual effects, fashionable clothes that proofs that assets of the cyber industrial dress style, and ‘head bandage after nose-jobs’ are leaking out to other kinds of music genres is nice to see. Ah, here it is:

Perhaps you would be happy to know that if we ever setup a Yeah I Know It Sucks Show, Superhand won’t be in the lineup as it simply isn’t sucky enough. This sucky unprofessional review however might be shown as a headliner. Standing proudly in the spotlight with all the grammar mistakes, lack of common sense, stupid useless humor and basic dots, comma’s and seriousness.

Oh shit, Moloko just bumped in my left eye! What a pain! I can imagine how it must feel to have Portishead and Massive Attack shaking hands in there.. I better leave this nonsensical rant over here before getting blind.

Good luck with it,
Bertus Ullshit.

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