Disgruntled Boy Wonder / Psychosomatic Constipation – Split (YP-058)

Disgruntled Boy Wonder / Psychosomatic Constipation - Split

The album art for this Split by Disgruntled Boy Wonder and Psychosomatic Constipation depicts a bull-horned manboy with mustache and chinbeard who has replaced his only arm with a spear and floats around on a giant glazed donut. I think he has a lightbulb or a penis on his head as well. Judging by the positioning of the hand belonging to an unseen figure, this guy is likely not very safe to be around. Probably spits on people when he’s talking at least.

Artists: Disgruntled Boy Wonder / Psychosomatic Constipation
Title: Split
Label: YIP! RECORDS
Cat#: YP-058
Keywords: Shitcore, Punk
Reviewer: Alex Spalding

We, your humble reviewers of the underground, recently received a request to plumb the deepest, darkest annals of a net label calling itself YIP! RECORDS, purveyors of shit, shitcore, noiseshits and total crapola. Prospecting can be dangerous work, and you must always remember to bring plenty of lubrication. For some strange reason I am compelled to write my review of this Split between artists Disgruntled Boy Wonder and Psychosomatic Constipation as if I were instead writing the most ridiculous slashfic possible about the two artists and their scat fetishes. Possibly it is because I’m still running off the glandular musk fumes of the Tonetta review from several days ago…

… this is going to be awful, I just know it…

… and so our real-time scat fetish fiction begins. Disgruntled Boy Wonder stands in his room. The walls are adorned with Justin Bieber posters, and the dirty mattress laying on the floor is covered in Lady GaGa floppy discs. He puts some ‘Heavy Metal (Sexy Music)’ on, then starts disrobing to reveal his giant, sweaty ass bulging out of a tight pair of soiled underwear. We hear a lofi click, as Disgruntled Boy Wonder plops onto the mattress and grunts loudly. Reaching into his underwear, he fumbles for his member, noticing with his fingers a brown sticky mess underneath his testicles. “Mmmm, fresh poo poo! Supra!” The clicking of the tape machine repeats frequently, filling our ears with shitty sound. At one point he farts, all while singing and gagging himself with the poop smells. Frantically, he masturbates while trying to squeeze more poop out, groaning and yelling “blahbuhlee… blahbuhlee!” Finally, a bit of warm feces begins to squirt out. He ejaculates into a shit-covered hand, then wipes it all into his face while singing. Retreating to the bathroom, he flushes the toilet and dips his hands into the spinning water to form a cup. He then brings the water to his mouth and drinks, slurping greedily. He turns the shower on but never enters, choosing instead to sing and sponge his now naked body with shit and sperm just outside of it. He then finds a hair dryer, using it to dry the poopstuff into a body crust while beatboxing. Looking upon himself in the bathroom mirror, he utters the phrase, “heavy metal.” Leaving the bathroom, he goes outside, gets on his hands and knees and starts barking like a dog at passing vehicles. Then he leaves and goes to school…

… and yells ‘Bom Dia Turma!!’ when he arrives, covered in shit and completely nude. His classmate, Psychosomatic Constipation, immediately begins taking off all of his clothes and puts on a House Of Pain tape. He then starts masturbating furiously while shitting all over the floor. Then, both he and Disgruntled Boy Wonder drop to the ground and roll in the feces while screaming and making strange noises. They pick up piles of shit and throw it at their classmates, still seated in shock across the room, then start making out with each other. Together… most of their social taboos have now been broken. They then rise to leave the classroom, hand in hand, knowing that whatever the future may hold, there is very little that will ever be able to shock them again. Their memories of this day will last a lifetime.

If you enjoyed my gross descriptions of this album, chances are close to high that you might even enjoy the music itself. In all seriousness though, this was a terrible album! Here’s the link:

http://archive.org/details/DisgruntledBoyWonderpsychosomaticConstipationSplit

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1 Response to Disgruntled Boy Wonder / Psychosomatic Constipation – Split (YP-058)

  1. sleepy ugandan says:

    ROFLOLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! never laughed so hard in my life!

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