Taigerbery – Dead Bodies

artist: Taigerbery
title: Dead Bodies
keywords: alternative, rock/pop, grunge
label: Southern City’s Lab

[GOTHAM City, The secret Batcave]
Batman: Robin!
Robin: whjes Bwabmawn?
Batman: Can you please stop nibbling on my carrot? My sonic Batman ears just gave me the red sonar beep, our help is urgently needed in the Southern part of the city!
Robin: sjwit, cwan wit wrally wrot mwait?
Batman: Oh come on Robin! Man yourself! You can clean up my bowling balls when we come back later!
Robin: …. <plop> ..okay!
Batman: Pull up your pants and hurry up to get the batmobile!
Robin: You mean the big black vibrating prostate massager with bat extension?
Batman: I mean the car Robin, the batmobile!
Robin: ..be right back !
Batman: oh and Robin?
Robin: Yes Batman?
Batman: Your ass looks splendid in spandex!
Robin: oh hihi thank you Batman..
Badman: yeah, yeah now hurry up and get the batmobile!

[5 seconds later]
Batmobile: WROOOooosh! Ieeeeeeeewk uuuuuk kggg.
Robin: Hop in Batman!
Batman: not now Robin, we got a crime to solve..
Robin: no, no I mean come in the car..
Batman: nah i don’t want to make the leather seats dirty, besides we are needed! We have no time to loose! Move your ass to the passengers seat, I want to drive!
Robin: <moves his ass to the other seat while giggling>
Batman: Okay hold on tight, full speed up to the Southern part of the City!
Robin: Ok!
Batman: Robin?
Robin: .. uh yes, Batman?
Batman: by holding on tight i didn’t mean that you had to hold me tight..
just fasten your batbelt and prepare yourself for hyper batspeed!
Robin: I can’t wait!
Batman: Here we go!
Batmobile: VRRRRROOOOmmmmnnnnnnn!!!!!

[5 minutes later, in the Southern part of the City]
Batmobile: Vrrrrrrr prut prut twsssss
Batman: We have arrived on our destination!
Robin: Are we close to our batroom?
Batman: no time for jokes Robin! We are on a mission!
Robin: sorry Batman, i promise to make it up with you later…
Batman: I will make you into my personal batcave! But now please focus and look around for something suspicious..
Robin: Don’t you think its weird that no matter if it is day or night, in Gotham city it always looks dark?
Batman: That is indeed suspicious! But let’s go out of the car and walk around for a bit..
Robin: For you I will do anything, Batman..
Batman: Good to know Robin, good to know..
Batmobile doors: klik klak zoof.

Robin: Batman..
Batman: yes Robin?
Robin: I see dead people..
Batman: the fifth sense with Bruce Willis kind of dead people?
Robin: no the ones who are smelly and don’t move kind..
Batman: shit, I better turn on my batman glasses as I can’t see a thing in the dark..
Batmanglasses: click
Batman: Ah! the whole street is abandoned except for plenty of dead body’s chilling out on the floor..
Robin: are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Batman: I’m not into necrophilia, Robin
Robin: too bad, as this could have been a wild orgy..
Batman: Robin! My radarbatsystem goes Beep again! There is someone close.. a female! And she needs our help!
Robin: oh no! It’s always the female who needs help, who comes first, who needs attention.. What about me Batman? I’m alive! surrounded in a street full of dead body’s! Don’t you think I need your help?
Batman: .. what?
Robin: oh safe me Batman, safe me from the dead and decay! Take me away Batman! oh Batman!
Batman: ROBIN!
Robin: ow I love it when you raise your voice Batman, so sexy!
Batman: STOP IT! Man yourself! We are out here in the street to safe an unprotected innocent woman!
It can be a matter of life and death!
Robin: uh yes captain!
Batman: this way! I can hear her heartbeat on my sonar batdetector brainchip!
Robin: Are you sure it isn’t my heartbeat knocking full of passion and lust?
Batman: .. This way! around this corner..
Robin: ah a cold dark alley, how original..
Batman: I think it is rather romantic
Robin: Well yes burning trashcans does in fact has something cozy about it..
Batman: There! There she is! She is trapped under this large overweighed dead person..
Robin: how odd and strangely attractive..
Batman: Don’t just stand there! Help me pull this pile of hamburger meat invested dead body of her!
Robin: oh.. uh.. okay..

[one hour later]
Batman: ….
Robin: we done it!
Batman: you should have gone to the gym more often..
Woman: …
Robin: is she breathing?
Batman: since when are you so concerned? But yes, she seems to be alive..
Robin; that’s great news! Mission completed! the female is saved! Now let’s go home!
Batman: We can’t just leave her here?
Robin: sure we can! She is gonna be fine!
Batman: are you sure?
Robin: She is perfectly safe here! Everyone around her is dead! Or you think dead body’s will attack her? Don’t be silly, Batman!
Batman: but she looks rather scruffy, look at the bump on her forehead…
Robin:  a bump? .. let me see.  ah that isn’t a bump or a scratch!
Batman: My batglasses seems to be failing again.. but what is it than Robin?
Robin: a file!
Batman: a file?
Robin: an mp3 file! Here see! I take it off!
Batman: you are so high tek Robin, something that is a real turn on. So what do we do with this piece of evidence? This so called mp3 file?
Robin: Let’s take it too the batmobile and spin it while we drive back to our secret hiding place.
Batman: whatever you say Robin, whatever you say.. but let’s carry the woman to the batmobile to keep her safe until she gains consciousness..
Robin: nah, no space. you forgot its only a two seater..
Batman: perhaps One of us can hold her on his lap?
Robin: seriously Batman, just leave her here. she is going to be fine! Besides when she wakes up you know how curious females are, she will be dying to take our masks off and reveal our secret identities! We can’t have that!
Batman: really?
Robin: with all the bailiffs, tax-collectors and other debt collectors searching for us, it is for our own good to not face these risks of identification..
Batman: Agreed!
Robin: let’s go!
Batman: goodbye lady, you gonna be fine..
Woman: ……

Batmobile doors: klick klack zoof
Batman: ah, glad to sit again on the comfortable leather carseat..
Robin: yes totally, although I would rather sit on top of you…
Batman: well if you put that mp3 file on, you are invited to exchange your seat for batman’s lap…
Robin: You don’t need to say that twice, I gladly accept your invitation…
Batman: but no funny business, he? It’s the main priority to drive safely as a super hero!
Robin: my spandex is getting rather tight..
Batmobile audio system: click toot bing
<music plays>
Batman: hey that’s pretty cool shit!
Robin: yes
Batman: who is it? what is this band?
Robin: if the batplayer information screen is correctly, it is the music of a band called: Taigerbery…
Batman: Great! .. now why don’t you move over on my lap so I can hit the gas pedal!
Robin: … uh that’s strange..
Batman: what is?
Robin: the track.. it is called ‘dead body’s”..
Batman: ….
Robin: … dead body’s there and dead body’s here..
Batman: that is something.. It’s a clue! Why where there all these dead body’s anyway? Was Taigerbery responsible for this macabre event
Robin: a band this good? i doubt it! anyway forget about it, it’s the Southend of the City.. It’s normal, a regular thing to have the streets loaded with dead body’s.. It aint no big deal.. This is GothamCity, you know?!
Batman: I guess so
Robin: plus we should celebrate! we saved a lady today! Now its time to have fun, just the two of us!
Batman: okay, climb on my lap and hold me tight, babe!
Robin: Oh Batman! Step on it! Can’t wait to get home!
Batman: Can’t wait to park my batmanhood in your batcave!
Batmobile: VVVRRROOOooooooooooOOaaaasrrrmmmmm!!!!!

hear the evidence for yourself:

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