Various Artists – To The Prettiest One, Volume 2


Artists: Various
title: To The Prettiest One, volume 2
keywords: experimental, Discordia compilation
label: Brownian e/Motion http://brownianmotion.bandcamp.com/

Hello! My name is KN and I’m your host for tonight! Welcome to another episode of to the prettiest one! The only family friendly entertainment show that has it all! 29 candidates trying to win the hearts of the most beautifullest lady’s we could find with music and entertainment. The winner will be honored to be called Miss Discordia 2013 and wins an exclusive walk to wherever they choose to walk too!

Today the prettiest jury panel of the entire globe contains of4 pretty ladies in the prime of their lives. In the red hot dress accentuated with golden earrings and tasty looking red lips we have the hot ‘Alexandria Spoldang! Next to her we have johanna noderpella in a beautiful blue glitter dress with astonishing blond curly hair! Than miss blooper 1987 in a handmade creation of latex and rubber accentuating her hips like it is nothing is Kaiola Nobukula. And last but certainly not least we have the prettiest ginger woman of the galaxy in our midst called ‘Audiola Heterola’.

Today these pretty birds will have the difficult task to judge the 29 music performances supplied by the candidates on different qualities. Alexandria will give a number for ‘rhythm and continuality. Johanna covers ‘melodies and sexuality. Kaiala gives points for originality & insanity while Audiola judges each track for a possible noise factor! Just in case you are not familiar with how it works; 1 means totally shit & 10 means something along the line of excellent.. Especially for today’s show we are also joined by Alberta Einsteina, who is perhaps not such a good looking hotshot herself, but will judge each contestant with a fair grade for Visual Show & Science! Are you ready?! Than let the games begin!

The first candidate is Arcane Waves who teaches us how to count by bringing farm animals to the stage! Dressed up as a blue smurf Arcane Waves leads a complete circus of pigs, gooses, cows and dogs! They dance on the piano, play jazzy vibes while the pigs are taking care of the grunting vocals for metal purposes! One of the highlights is number four where a rooster is brought to the stage inside a giant rocket. All the animals are loaded inside like some kind of modern arc of Noah. Than the last section of the show contains the spreading of laughing gas on the audience! Wow! What an opening! Pretty girls what are your numbers?
rhythm and continuality: 5
melodies and sexuality: 4
originality & insanity: 8+
Noise factor: 2
Visual Show & Science grade: 10

Nyhos is the next candidate and brings out a weather controlling machine that looks a bit like a miniature haaarp station with rusty water tabs. The spotlight is on and the sounds are amazing when Nyhos is opening and closing these tabs in a controlled matter. Dear jury what do you think of these Low rumblings, manipulated streams of sounds?
rhythm and continuality: 4
Melodies and sexuality: 4
originality & insanity: 5
Noise factor: 7
Visual Show & Science grade: 10
Thank you pretty ones!

Rest In Satin Silence is creating beautiful weirdo creations of science fiction quality. Light bulbs open up and on a rainbow of oddball soup a very pretty transsexual sings a pretty lustful song full of passion and liquor. The lightshow and the Smokey sound effects are simply arousing with strange opera, space layers that makes the whole television show trip their eyes out! Glitter and glamour and pretty strange friendly sounds are all mixed up in a pretty fashion! So pretty ones what are the points?
rhythm and continuality: 7
Melodies and sexuality: 9
originality & insanity: 9+
Noise factor: 4
Visual Show & Science grade: 10 Ohlala!
That’s a pretty high score!

Let’s bring in the following candidate MVNIHVD! Ohlala it’s amazing lady’s! The artists brought gigantic hairdryers and electric saws and an automatic firework show! Special tap dancing with stroboscope effects and machinery! This is making our normally stiff audience dance until the act chooses to go out with a nice bang! What do you think of this, pretty ones?
rhythm and continuality: 7
melodies and sexuality: 6
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 5
Visual Show & Science grade: 9

Next up is the artist that made me stutter every time when I try to pronounce it, but after a lot of practicing here is gob-ble-gob-ble-gib-sen-hob-ble! Make way for this fanatic electric creature and his wired drumkit! Isn’t it amazing he rolls the drums with his 6 tentacles, makes squeesy noise from his nose holes and at the same time plays music with his deranged circuit bended trumpet that sticks deeply from his asshole! This is worth applause! Let’s see if it has impressed these fine lady’s and Alberta Einsteina!
rhythm and continuality: 9
melodies and sexuality: 7
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 6
Science grade: 10

Let’s give it up for the wonderful next candidate; Iris Call! Oh my goth! This is amazing! Iris is just simply armed with a microphone and starts to beatbox the most awesome beats and grooves with experimental sounds and effects! It’s amazing as Iris Call does melodies of mystery, strange beats and grooves without giving a single fuck of inhaling fresh air in between! Everything sounds pretty electronic and when Iris Calls fills the television studio with synths coming from her throat will keeping the funky beats rolling and flabbergasting the audience with odd effects everyone seems to be all ears and eyes! What a talent! And the music is actually amazingly good! This performance must have an effect on the score!
rhythm and continuality: 10
melodies and sexuality: 8+
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 1
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

For the next performance we have Downercow setup with a telephone connection to a good friend named Scott. Scott is a specialist in legally Dildo owning and hints just enough about how he has a closet full of these harmless friends . While Scott is spreading its words of knowledge and wisdom through the telephone line, Downercow plays sweet music in the background! An odd duo that really worked well together! What did you pretty ladies think of this?
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 10
originality & insanity: 8
Noise factor: 0
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

And now we are welcoming to the stage of ‘To The Prettiest One’ another candidate! Let’s give a warm welcome to mellow rock sensation Darlington Pair! Oh my! This is actually the first band that chooses traditional sounding instruments and even more traditional psychedelic awesome pretty rock structures! Alexandria  Spoldang starts to dance on the table completely in trance of these pretty vibes of sweet guitars that simply feeding pretty trip music of an enormous high quality! Damn this is pretty!
rhythm and continuality: 7
melodies and sexuality: 10+
originality & insanity: 6
Noise factor: 3
Visual Show & Science grade: 3

The next candidate is someone dressed as a chicken from Uzbekistan. This is one hell of an awkward moment until the music and the show starts! Amazing sweet music comes out of the speakers while these chicken wows us all away with incredible spastic dance movements!
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 7
originality & insanity: 8
Noise factor: 0
Visual Show & Science grade: 5

What follows up next is a complete art house performance by a group called Rapacious Pretense. How I found the Goddess and what I did to her when I found her is an 27+ minutes experimental theatre show involving strange electronic devices, big euphoric cold depth, modern ballet, classically raped instruments and euphoric intriguing moments.
rhythm and continuality: 8
melodies and sexuality: 8
originality & insanity: 8
Noise factor: 6+
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

Okay dear friends, members of the audience, television watchers and dear readers of Yeah I Know It Sucks. We have heard , seen and experienced the first 10 amazing talented candidates! Let’s see the score board and check who is in a good position to lead up to be Miss Discordia 2013!

Rapacious Pretense: 36+ Points!
Toxické Kurča: 26 Points!
Darlington Pair: 29+ Points!
Downercow: 30 Points!
Iris Call: 32+ Points!
gob-ble-gob-ble-gib-sen-hob-ble: 39 Points!
MVNIHVD: 34 Points!
Rest In Satin Silence: 39+ Points!
Nyhos: 30 points!
Arcane Waves: 29+ Points!

That means that Rest In Satin Silence goes through the next round and has a very good view of the little crown of prettiness that comes with the title of Miss Discordia 2013! Are you ready and excited for round 2? Let’s continue the fabulous show!

The curtain opens up slowly and we reveal the pretty indoor landscape that the next candidate Xenound has prepared. A snowy setting of carton cutouts where a special made art installation features small stuffed birds on strings that turn in circles attached to what seems a wooden bicycle wheel that is attached to the ceiling. A masked person in the background is dressed up as Yeti and drums on pots and pans while triggering the wheel with a rope attached to his hairy leg. Wow, that is some good start of the next round! What do you think of this my pretty ones?
rhythm and continuality: 9
melodies and sexuality: 6
originality & insanity: 8
Noise factor: 6
Visual Show & Science grade: 7

After emptying the stage in a rapid speed we have to make way for the next awesome candidate that is nobody less than Non-Bio! When you just start to think that it couldn’t get any weirder, this artist provides the right doses of utter insanity! And all in a contagious rhythm of pure crazy fun! A complete line up of dressed wild odd creatures is dancing the polonaise with confetti, balloons and gigantic drums hanging from their wastes! An odd looking fellow plays some kind of homemade honey flute and everyone seems to enjoy themselves big time! What’s the score for this?
rhythm and continuality: 9+
melodies and sexuality: 6
originality & insanity: 7-
Noise factor: 2
Visual Show & Science grade: 7

Then it’s time for the next candidate all the way from Germany: Semisolid! We see a couple of people dressed in police uniforms on a hypnotic experimental awesome sounding psychedelic track. On the background they display a video of little children shitting and than the horror! The performance artists are taking out what looks like fresh shit from plastic bags and start to throw it at the screen in the background. The whole scene goes on until we have to press the buzzer because the smell of shit was just getting to uneasy. What did you lady’s think?
rhythm and continuality: 8
melodies and sexuality: 7+
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 7 Visual
Show & Science grade: 3

Grail Exodus Guru is the next candidate and gives an hypnotic performance where spirituality mixed with darkness tends to hypnotice the people in the audience with stroboscopes and visuals displayed on beamers! At the end Grail Exodus Guru starts to flow up and fly’s above the flabbergasted jury members! Alberta try’s to debunk this while searching the roof for tiny cords that could have hold the guru making it appear as he was flying, but couldn’t find any proof. What are the scores?
rhythm and continuality: 5
melodies and sexuality: 6
originality & insanity: 6
Noise factor: 7
Visual Show & Science grade: 7

The next performance is a dance hit by Baptizer! There is a gigantic odd looking monster with a ring attached to his nose that kind of dances like a bear for the Baptizer. He roars, mumbles and stamps his claws. When the beast not do exactly dances how Baptizer wants it, Baptizer slaps his face and the monster makes more sounds while doing an awkward looking moonwalk. Pretty impressive, eh?
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 3
originality & insanity: 8
Noise factor: 9
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

Than the next performance by a candidate called Otto v Rhino! He fills up the stage with circuit bended typewriters, fakirs, secretary’s,  German’s, flipper machines and French hot girls spotting cowboy hats. Otto v Rhino directs the orchestrated sounds from the middle with great flair and skillful attention for details! What is the score the pretty ladies have for this great experimental performance?
rhythm and continuality: 8
melodies and sexuality: 7
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 3
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

The studio is dressed in silence when the next performer hits the stage! Only lit by a single spotlight we see the Inappropriate King Live eating what seems to be an apple mixed with microscopic crisps,  and a tongue trombone. A crappy microphone is very close to his mouth registers every bite and every odd sounding sound that may escape from the artists.
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 4
originality & insanity: 6
Noise factor: 7
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

The next candidate is one hell of a prolific artist called loopool KSC. Here he sits in a similar setting as the former performance but instead of eating an apple and crisps he drinks soda, urinates in a small plastic cup while swallowing small screws down his throat. It’s all a bit miniature in this performance and hard to see from a distance; luckily they project it a bit larger on the background so we don’t need to miss a single bit of the action. What are the grades for this pretty ones?
rhythm and continuality: 5
melodies and sexuality: 6
originality & insanity: 6
Noise factor: 6+
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

Dereck Ecklund takes over the stage with some kind of bathroom setup. We see the artist sitting in a dirty bathtub playing with his own invented instrument called the Opal Creek Hydrophone. For scientific reasons we can only describe the sounds that come out of this instruments as bathroom music, water drops sounds that drip on the floor that generate food for your bladder. Johanna can’t handle this performance any longer and wets herself! Before running to the toilet, can we please have the score for this performance?
rhythm and continuality: 5
melodies and sexuality: 6
originality & insanity: 5
Noise factor: 6
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

The last artist of the second round of “to the prettiest one’ is Shaun Sandor! Who gives an interesting performance called Clinker. We see him holding and applying pressure to a small snare instrument while making odd sounds from his belly. I guess even Shaun Sandor is getting hungry from all the waiting around before it was his turn. Pretty relaxing stuff though! But what are the points for this one?
rhythm and continuality: 5
melodies and sexuality: 6
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 6
Visual Show & Science grade: 5

So Yes lady’s and other gentle people! It’s time to see the scores of the second round! Who is in charge? Who will becoming more and closer to the title of Miss Discordia 2013?  Let’s see the scoreboard and find out!

Shaun Sandor: 29 Points!
Dereck Ecklund: 28 Points!
loopool KSC: 29+ Points!
Inappropriate King Live: 29 Points!
Otto v Rhino: 31 Points!
Baptizer: 32 Points!
Grail Exodus Guru: 32 Points!
Semisolid: 32+ Points!
Non-Bio: 31 Points!
Xenound: 36 Points!

Oh my goth! That means Xenound is the winner of round 2! This is completely exciting! The last round will be the final one! Let’s continue!

The third round starts with a lengthy performance of Emperor Norton Antivirus. It is a stage performance of the very celebrate art house movie Emperor Tomato Ketchup. We hear a theatrical piece of soundart that gets noisier along the way while still keeping a penetrant rhythm like a broken rhythm in time and space. Somehow the show is very artistic but some of the jury members seem to be falling asleep. It is the not so handsome Alberta who starts to snore loudly through the performance. But perhaps that is a good thing as the sound is pretty hypnotic to indulge special visuals in a fine REM sleep. Let’s wake up Alberta and ask for the scores on this one!
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 4
originality & insanity: 6
Noise factor: 7
Visual Show & Science grade: zZz

Time for a fresh candidate to lift up the experimental atmosphere! Jack Hertz lands a spectacular landing on stage with some kind of spacious space rocket! He spots scientific time bomb resistant pants and shows off a complete awesome set of striking poses while looking in every direction! Alarms go off, guitars rule in the background and more watches are setup for what is sounding like an euphoric moment that keeps us on our toes! And then? Ah the showman delivers the whole audience and our pretty jury members freshly made pancakes from his now steaming space rocket! What an deliverance and what a suspense! What do you think ladies?
rhythm and continuality: 7
melodies and sexuality: 8
originality & insanity: 8
Noise factor: 2
Visual Show & Science grade: 7

Let’s go with our filled up belly’s full of pancakes to the next artist slash performer: Timo Tuhkanen! A one man show featuring his own beep box! He pulls funny faces while a deranged arrangement of high pitched tones of bleeps fill up the air of the television studio! What do we think pretty girls?
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 6+
originality & insanity: 5
Noise factor: 7
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

Our next candidate eager to win the title of Miss Discordia is PCRV! PCRV comes up in a robotic costume that looks like it is made from carton boxes and some plastic tubes with some battery charged lights attached to it. A nice range of odd sounds are coming from the glued metallic ashtray on top of his head! Pretty strange, but we like it don’t we pretty ones?
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 7
originality & insanity: 6+
Noise factor: 7
Visual Show & Science grade: 3

Than a really nice act by nothing less than JUICE MACHINE lifts up this already successful show! The JUICE MACHINE act contains nothing more than a dead serious juice machine in the middle of the stage and some soft sounds that crickles and bleebs on the background. There is not really much happening but some members of the audience go up and serve themselves some free juice! This of course encourages our pretty jury to also taste the juice of the JUICE MACHINE and we can confirm by the smiles of prettiness on their faces that the taste brought them the flavor of pure sunshine! Now that the pancakes has made way for juice, what are the points for this art food performance of unknown kind?
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 7
originality & insanity: 8
Noise factor: 7
Visual Show & Science grade: 0

Make room for the next two candidates! Marry Shelley & The Implicit Order take over the stage with their large persona and wonderful ego’s! They take on the more traditional format of perky beautifully twisted experimental synth based trip tronica! The air gets a warm breeze when the sounds of glowing synths and smooth delicious air freshners light up the room with pure orgasmic sexiness! This is like an orgasm for the mind! One of the pretty jury members (I won’t mention names) is actually caught masturbating herself while being inspired by this highly sexual inspired ambience. What do you lady’s give this musical performance of lust?
rhythm and continuality: 8
melodies and sexuality: 10
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 4
Visual Show & Science grade: 3

We keep in a loose state of mind with the next art performance by {Bien-a-hel-eiden-schafts-gegen-stand}, this also comes across as a very sexually charged show where atmospheric music mixed with a visual performance of lights moving slowly on a stage filled up with arousing smoke. We can identify a used bed with a pair of handcuffs attached to it, do we see some stains? The music is very odd and bizarre like we are seeing something that isn’t actually there to be seen. We hear poetry and then the show is over! What do you think pretty ones of this performance?
rhythm and continuality: 6+
melodies and sexuality: 8
originality & insanity: 7
Noise factor: 0
Visual Show & Science grade: 6

The 28th candidate of this evening is Peacock Angel’s Death Song! Delivering what is described as a Discordian Tunnel Reggae! Think warm sound that is similar sounding to a near death experience. Not that I your host (KN) have ever experienced something like that, but still as a host you always have to make sure to be able to chat something in case there is nothing to say! In this case the stage looks very empty, covered in darkness and there is no peacock to be seen! What do the lady’s think of this attempt?
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 5+
originality & insanity: 4
Noise factor: 3
Visual Show & Science grade: 0

The last performance of the evening and this one really hits a special flavor with one of our pretty jury members ‘Audiola Heterola’! She stands up applauding loudly while contestant with the name: I Died’ roars up the most roaring noises from out of nowhere! The audience groomed haircuts are all messed up with the massive form of destructive noise that blows in their faces! Audiola screams: Awesome! and with this performance we have come to an epic end of round 3 of the To The Prettiest One show! But what are the points for this performance?
rhythm and continuality: 6
melodies and sexuality: 2
originality & insanity: 5
Noise factor: 10+
Visual Show & Science grade: 2

So what are the results of round 3 and the scoreboard? This is a very exciting moment indeed! We can hear all the candidates heartbeats banging hard! Let’s see the scoreboard of round 3!

I Died: 25+ Points!
Peacock Angel’s Death Song: 18+ Points!
{Bien-a-hel-eiden-schafts-gegen-stand} : 27+ Points!
Marry Shelley & The Implicit Order: 32 Points!
JUICE MACHINE: 28 Points!
PCRV: 29+ Points!
Timo Tuhkanen: 30+ Points!
Jack Hertz: 32 Points!
Emperor Norton Antivirus: 23zZz

That means Jack Hertz and Marry Shelley & The Implicit Order are the obvious winners of round 3! And now let’s see the most exciting moment of all! Who is going to win the foot trip to wherever they want to walk themselves? Who is rightfully earned the title of Miss Discordia 2013? The performance where strong and the acts where many! Let’s not waste any more minutes and see the main score board of To The Prettiest One 2013!!

1: Rest In Satin Silence: 39+ Points!
2: Xenound: 36 Points!
3: Jack Hertz / Marry Shelley & The Implicit Order: 32 Points!

Oh my! Rest In Satin Silence is the winner with 39+ points! Balloons and confetti is dropping from the ceiling! Rest In Satin Silence, congratulations on your wonderful victory! You may now call yourself the official winner of To The Prettiest One 2013! And you rightfully earned the title of Miss Discordia 2013!! Once again, Congratulations!!!

Thank you for watching, thank you for being so damn pretty! This was To The Prettiest One! For a re-run you are able to hear the whole show again at the following link: http://brownianmotion.bandcamp.com/album/to-the-prettiest-one-volume-2
<KN>

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This entry was posted in acoustic, ambient, audio collage, avantgarde, chill out, compilation, dance, drone, electronic, experimental, fieldrecording, folk, glitch, harsh noise, minimal, noise, plunderphonics, soundscape and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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