Artist: Apolline D’Ash
Title: Waiting EP
Reviewer: Alex Spalding
I sat in a waiting room… I’d been here, waiting, for what felt like a number of hours. I took a seat in the back of the small lobby to avoid unpleasant conversation with the others who waited with me, and flipped through the pages of dated magazines. I helped myself to cup after cup of blackened water, what they called coffee, pouring possibly a hundred tiny packets of granulated sugar into each and stirring with one of those tiny plastic straws. Why do they provide these straws, I wondered? Who manufactures them? They serve no function but to fail at being either a straw or a decent stirring apparatus… no one drinks scalding hot coffee out of a straw anyway. After the first cup I decided to attempt a scan of the area around the coffee pot looking for a plastic spoon, but founding nothing. Whatever, I thought to myself… I figured that despite my inability to procure a spoon, I’d at least managed to kill a minute or two. Perhaps that was the real purpose of these auxiliary accommodations, to come up bizarrely lacking, thereby providing a person a chance to waste some few minutes away on a fruitless endeavor like looking for a plastic spoon.
I was here by request, had been asked to review the Waiting EP by Apolline D’Ash. So, I waited, and waited…
… then, quite suddenly, I had an epiphany. I realized that I didn’t need to wait any longer… that there was no point in sitting here wasting away at all. I could disregard social protocol; I could proceed. I told the receptionist that I wasn’t going to wait anymore. She became terrified as I loosened my tie and unbuttoned my coat, tossing it to the side. I stood upon one of the chairs in the lobby and knocked away a tile in the ceiling that lead to an air shaft. I jumped into it and began to crawl toward the object of my desire, the thing that once seemed to necessitate the extended interim I’d so meaninglessly endured.
I furthered myself along the narrow corridor, twisting to push along in a space barely large enough to sustain the body of an adult. Eventually, I came upon a vent, underneath me, similar to the one I’d used to enter the shaft. I used my elbow to knock it down and dropped after it, landing in a white room with a speaker and a copy of the Waiting EP. I had arrived.
‘Waiting (Original Mix)’ sounded dreamy, lovely synth sequences playing a sweet melody. It sped up, gaining pace by the second. I heard clipping, tightly rapid succession snare sounds, then a low bassline. A 4/4 kick… unexpected. It created a cool, minimal groove along with the bass. Filters seemed to pull the melodies far away, then they returned joined by synth horns! I was spellbound… and then heard what might be a filtered vocal chord or theremin? The 4/4 kick returned, alongside some piano.
Next was the ‘Gordon Shumway Remix’, which began with some light modem noise, a bit of scrambled melodic code, a chunky kick with a little bit of swing to it. The bassline came on. A crisp hat adding a bit of sizzle in the mix, a small hip-hop snare, some 909 toms followed by a sequence of groovy, swinging 909 snares. After a short breakdown, I heard some 909 rides! This mix got pretty funky. Lots of knob twiddling on the synths before the mix got onto a drum section, then a section in which some gritty sawtooth basslines were introduced, probably the best part of the track in my opinion. Not a floor-filler, but respectable, and could conceivably work really well in a mix with the right adjoining material.
Then, the final track was ‘La Chevelure De Bérénice (Original Mix)’. It began with what sounded like vapourous piano harmonics. A pulsy kick came in, heard a sort of FMbass with nice panning, rimshot reverberations. The piece felt somewhat tense with chillout vibes, waves of intense sound in the mix.
It was then, after finishing the requested listening experience, that the guards came into the room and grabbed me, saying I’d have to go back to the waiting room or leave the premises.
“I already got what I came for!” I yelled, while laughing, “And it was good! Haahaha!!!” Then, I dropped a link where only our readers would ever find it, along with a note explaining that they could click on it to hear the music for themselves… without ever having to wait…