Artists: Jason “Evil” Covelli & Doomettes
Title: The 51st Release Of SPNet
Keywords: Spoken Word, Chamber Noise, Doom Pop, Black Pop, Black Noise, Chamber Doom, Chamber Doom, Chamber Black Noise Doom Pop
Reviewer: Alex Spalding
Ah, good morning dear readers! Though for you it may be any time of day or you may be trapped in the Twilight Zone or perhaps any number of peculiar, alternate dimensions in which, for instance, you may be currently tormented by creatures of supernatural condition on the 13th hour, for me it is just…
… oh, shit… it’s noon!
Well, morning is subjective anyway. I’ve just woken up and, I must say, this review couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve got that terrible song stuck in my head that goes “Wheeen a maaaaan loves a womaaan!” I think it’s by Michael Bolton. I can’t remember any of the other words, so in my brain it digresses after the chorus into a dry lecture on intercourse… set to what I imagine is the general tune of the song, naturally.
With this, SPNet celebrates their… 51st… release… ah, I am already quite confused! Perhaps 51 is a magic number? Like 1, 2, 5, 10, or 12, or 25, 50, 69, 93. We’ll add it to the canon some day, I’m certain. We will find in nature a 51st order of things.
I must assure you here that it was not my intention to be absurd this evening. I came to write a straight, no-nonsense review. I think I’ll begin now…
… or, instead, tell you a little about the artists…
… Jason “Evil” Covelli is an evil mastermind genius, set on taking over the world. He cannot be stopped. The best method of action is to just let the Empire he will undoubtedly create after his likeness run it’s course. In due time, according to the oracles we’ve staffed at YIKIS to look over prophecies of this kind for revelation, in a great many years Jason “Super-Evil” Covelli the VII-th’s Empire shall be plagued with corruption, there will be many internal disputes among nobles and matters will eventually settle as the people return glumly from Evilization to a pastoral life of agriculture and cheese-making.
Reed Trow Foreman, when not writing reviews for this very website or being besieged by stuffed apes… no, nevermind, that’s pretty much all he does. No… there is more after all! He runs The Revolution Will Occur After Naptime, which is kind of like the Rebel Alliance of record labels. Soon enough, as it is written in the stars, I shall review something of their output.
This work begins with a ‘Stupid Intro’, something to ease us into things. It’s by both artists. A voice, sounding as if relayed by an answering machine comes on. Alongside it comes the light strums of guitar. This is soon followed by an electric guitar with amp distortion. Toward the end, there’s this awesome synthesizer blast of rising octaves, followed by distorted machines!
Then there’s ‘Stupid Shit People Do And Get Paid Millions Doing It’. It’s a solo spoken word piece by Jason “Evil” Covelli, discussing stupid shit that people do and get paid millions doing it. What the fuck?
Next up is both artists again, with ‘Nature’s Destruction’. It sounds like Jason is watching television or something and talking. Sudden blast of noise, predicted by the words of Jason, then a didgeridoo. Electric guitar, bass guitar and spoken word make up the bulk of the music. Then I hear… a clarinet? Then there’s some really nice acoustic guitar sound, a portamento monosynth lead oscillating wildly, some piano, some banjo plucks. What a strange day so far! For the most part, the vocals just kind of slide into the background for me. The music is definitely the focal point… and then every once in awhile I’ll hear something like “SHIT.” float into the foreground, haha!
Doomettes solo piece, ‘That Night, With Hacksaw In Hand, She Had Her Revenge’ begins with a bright bass guitar, accompanied by a low sustained bass tone, bit of wah guitar, light drone… then a burst of rumbling noise and didgeridoo and clarinet! Whoa! It gets pretty awesome. Like a noisy, minimal/repetitive Peter & The Wolf leitmotif from out of a fucked up universe someplace.
As sure as the sun rises past midnight after several hours, so too does this album come to a close after approximately 21 minutes and 53 seconds. Stretching far into infinity, however, are the remembrances of the art… these are of lasting value, and can be collected by you here, at the hyperlink I’ll have left at the bottom of the page. Good night!