Title: Jordan IS Palestine
Keywords: Post-Industrial, Neo-Folk, Jewish
Reviewer: Alex Spalding
Hello, and welcome to a very special review!
Why is it special, you’re wondering? Well, yes, we do have an interesting and, as we might find, a quite controversial piece of music to discuss, but even more than that, it’s special because those zany scientists we sometimes speak of here at YIKIS labs have invented the first ever…
… Cyber Time Machine!!!
… ok, maybe it’s not necessarily the first ever time machine of its kind, but as a literary device it might be! I’m not sure! (Probably not!) We’re going to use it to travel way, way back in time, though… on the web, that is.
How far back do you want to go? Maybe we could board the historic NetScape Navigator? Have tea with Jeeves while bothering him with questions? Or maybe we could go so far back through web-space and time that we’d be able to witness the invention of fire (walls)! There are so many possibilities! So… hm… oh, I know… I’ll just tap a bunch of buttons and see what happens…
*beep beep boop beep… brrrrrr*
And off we go… it appears as if we may land in the foggy bygone era of web 1.0… we must be sure not to do anything by accident that might alter the future… haha, yes, how theoretically funny would it be if that were foreshadowing something soon to happen, right?
Alright… we’ve made it! Wow, this place is horrendous, eh? Look at all these free floating pixels, bits of useless binary, and… wait…
… did you just fart? O_O
Do you think anyone smelled it?
This could be bad.
You’ll have to excuse me for a moment, I’m just going to walk a few feet over there to scratch my chin and perform a bit of quiet conjecture…
(… a fart into the past… could create a stinky time paradox… may not matter much, though, but… a butterfly’s wings, they say… shit! I should return to where I was standing…)
… and say that we’d better go back to the future and hope that your passing of gas didn’t mess anything up too badly! Let us hurry!..
… or, not… you’re right, honestly we might as well stay and have drinks by the data-stream for a while. Having a time-machine at your disposal does kind of provide an excuse to take things at leisure. Beside, after a couple martinis I’m sure we’ll have an even better grasp of the situation at hand and how we might potentially deal with it. Cheers! 😉
[meanwhile, in the future…]
Shalom! Aleichem! And welcome to a very special review at…
You’ll have to forgive me if I sound a bit schmaltzy, I was verklempt a minute ago while listening to this album!From their site, they’ve got a schtick they describe as:
“Post-Industrial Jewish Music: Electronic / Industrial / Neofolk / Ambient / Martial. HADAR’s music is created/composed by Naamah and features occasional guest vocal appearances by Shlomo Yehudah. HADAR is a hasbara project with a goal to spread the idea of Torah, praise of HaShem & support for Medinat Yisrael. All HADAR tracks are related to either a Torah or Talmudic concept, a traditional prayer, or a story within the History of the Jewish People and/or our historical homeland in the Land of Israel. If you are not familiar with the title or concepts presented in the lyrics of any HADAR song, I encourage you to consult a Rabbi, or if one is unavailable, look them up for yourself on a reliable Jewish website such as http://chabad.org, http://www.uscj.org, http://www.ou.org or http://mesora.org/.”
I love my cats, what can I say!?
So what will I tell you of this album without going on a shpiel like some kind of meshuggener?
The first track is called ‘Hatikva’! It’s music for a real Mensch, not a little boychik!
Kvell! The music fills me with naches while it plays on my juke machine!
Next is ‘Jordan Is Palestine’, sounding like… like schmatta noise, but with some kind of megillah being transmitted. I though I heard gunfire, oy vey!
Well, that’s about all the narrischkeit I’ve got for you tonight! Feel free to shmooz in the comments section. Shalom! Adye!.. oh, but who’s this schmegeggy below, and why does he have my link!? The chutzpah!!!
I’ll have to shemozzle him with the power of Kabbalah so that it can be returned to the bottom of the page where it belongs… PLOTZ!!!
Ah, it seems we have returned… wait, what is all this!?!? O_O
I do not understand how, but it would appear that… when you farted in the worldwide web of yester-years, it blew open a rift in the underwear of time itself, creating this bizarre alternate dimension in which the internet never progressed past web 1.0 GeoCities gif jacking type websites… and what’s more, I’m apparently Jewish for no particular reason.
Clearly, we must go back! Yes… we will have to go back in time yet again, to uncut that cheese and save the world. I’ll bring some air fresheners too, in case my A Plan of yelling “DON’T FART!” at you in slow motion is unsuccessful. It all makes me think, though…
*somewhere, a piano plays… those classy, somber, meandering chords of the kind you’d imagine hearing in an upscale bar*
… is this possible future really so bad, after all?
Sure, there are plenty of people, and not all of them Palestinians, who take issue with Israeli hasbara declaring the state of Jordan as Palestine, among so many other things, but that’s not even what I mean.
And, certainly, while I have a completely different background in this alternative future world, a Yiddish background at that, and that’s not really who I am in the universe I’m from, there’s nothing particularly wrong with that in the grand scheme of things… but that’s also not really what I’m talking about here.
When you think about how often we must put up with shitty nazi noise/neo-folk/post-industrial music in those respective scenes, it almost seems refreshing to consider the possibility of living in an alternate world, if just for a day, in which the scale were tipped instead to, say, Zionist noise/neo-folk/post-industrial as the “extreme” end. Sort of. Of course… this is not even what I’d like to address in this closing speech, either…
… in my world, or the world that I am from I should say, we seem to have largely left behind the awfulness that was web 1.0… in a culture obsessed with youtube, and facebook, and tumblr, and pinterest, it’s almost like we’ve forgotten the simple pleasures of terribly made gifs, unwieldy html layouts, MIDI sound files, crap web design. That is what this is all about, dear friends, in the end. Let us take a moment to remember… how wonderfully shitty things were, and could have remained.