Artist: Mark Williams
Title: Romantically Obsessed
Keywords: Electronic, Pop, DIY, Alternative, Dream Pop,
Reviewers: Alex Spalding & KN
Once upon a time, in a beautiful rose garden, two hopeless losers laid down on the short cutted grass writing love notes. They did not care so much about their surroundings, although they had chosen this spot specifically for its stimulating romantic vibrations,
that seems to bounces from the flowers upon their well receiving hearts.
The sky was light blue and the day was shining a lovely glow on these two lovely individuals.
Who were those two characters and why did they posses such a vaguely absent stare in their eyes? The glazed look was definitely the look of young love, the one that speaks more than lengthy essays, books, and subtitles. These two were poets, writers of the hearts, riders of white horses, reviewers that found their muse of love and fulfillment.
Meet Alex Spalding and KN at their most fragilest, exposing their hearts in a fine blissful state. What had happened to them? What brought these two losers so close together in this drowsy situation? It was all the fault of Mark Williams.
Mark WIlliams had come to them, in a dream, a digital email with rainbows, glitter and little pony’s that had thrown colorful flowers. The sparkles had blinded their eyes and occupied their ears as their excitement grew for the newest character in their fantasy world. Mark Williams words seduced the crucial writers like a perfume worn by an empress, the attached photo’s made them lick their glossed lips. There was something flying in their belly’s and it wasn’t the regular parasite. Butterflies! Colorful butterflies, a whole bunch of them!
From another world, Mark Williams knew what he was doing. His eyes had sparkles, his hands waved together to show his excitement while he was hiding a voodoo doll behind his back that resembled Alex and KN in one. He sprinkled it with rosemary and vinegar, pulled in a few needles softly in the ‘heart’ spot, and sang for it gently. Mark Williams had it all under control, his over emotional emotions were cast away with a sense of romance and seduction.
The voodoo doll had no mouth but you could hear him think. Aren’t you too young, Mark? You are just 16 years of age, is that not too early to play around with other people’s hearts? Especially people you don’t know, strangers, individuals, writers and total fruitcakes? Are you sure you want me to resemble these two losers KN and Alex Spalding so you can occupy their hearts in the hope that they will write and glorify your persona and art on that shitty blog of theirs?
Alex Spalding and KN were drooling, holding hands and softly humming a random song lended from the birds. They looked not all there, not in their right mind, a bit off. If I wasn’t just the narrator of this little story, I would personally ring the alarm bells and called some kind of emergency number. This was not the KN or the Alex Spalding as we know them. They are under a spell, they look visually more absent minded than how they appear normally. They farted butterflies, and bubble gum hearts popped out of their nose holes. Let us stop being so distant and go to that moment in time, straight into that rosegarden and meet up with those hopeless reviewers as they pen notes to one another and hopefully hear from themselves what’s up with them…
*ooohhooooo we’re landing in the past!*
KN: OMG! i don’t know if it’s a joke or not, even though i appreciate its eccentric honesty, i seriously am unable to enjoy listening to it haha. i would like to write positive words but can only think of this being played to people as a form of torture haha. Maybe you can give it a spin?
*4 days later*
Alex Spalding: Finally have had some time to work a little on the Mark Williams review, haha… not really sure where to go with this yet. 😀
*several minutes later*
Alex Spalding: added a tiny bit more to the review, interested in where this is going (I have no idea anymore, haha!)
KN: haha oke i;ll check it out. oke i added some more
*20 days later*
KN: haha i dont see the light for mark williams the unicorn i think we must go in hiding
Alex Spalding: Ahh, I knew I was forgetting something, trying to get back in the groove of YIKIS. No, we can’t let Mark Williams die on us…
KN: haha ❤ ❤ ❤ love love love
Alex Spalding: btw… do you still have the link to the mark williams review thing??? I thought I had it bookmarked, but that must have been on the other computer that died. I thought I might try working on finishing those, or helping to finish them anyway, I don’t know how much was added. 🙂
*3 days later*
KN: let me know if you added something to the mark williams fairytale. i’m quite stuck on that one for the moment
Alex Spalding: I only added one sentence so far
*5 days later*
KN: mark williams haha i will check him out soon
Alex Spalding: hahaha
KN: i forgot his music or my mind had blocked it
Alex Spalding: oh, mark williams… I want that review to be spectacular, even if it’s bad
KN: hahaha, that can be the introduction Oh, Oh oh!! Oh, Mark Williams!
Alex Spalding: hahaha
KN: i want to review you so much even though its bad! haha… mark williams.. he is one of a kind.. more innocent, more speaking to the imagination. mark hahah mark
Alex Spalding: yes, definitely!
KN: like we know him, like he sits next to us. hi mark, haha, how ya doing mark?
Alex Spalding: exactly how I feel, haha that’s why I really want to finish that review, It feels like he’s waiting for us, haha
KN: haha i’m sure he does, that’s the kind of guy mark is and he needs love and care. no need to destroy his bubble cause his bubble is something to be jealous about.. i bet he is there and sees unicorns on a daily basis
Alex Spalding: yes! hahaha
KN: i love him, hahaha, even though i can’t listen to his music
Alex Spalding: haha, despite being awful, he’s somehow amazing
KN: its awful hahaha at least we are on the same line here haha, awfull
Alex Spalding: hahaha that’s… the only possible line anyone could be on, I’m afraid
KN: hahaha i don’t think mark himself agrees. or maybe he does, who knows
Alex Spalding: it’s all just a joke
KN: yes mark is secretly a project by the producer of the smashing pumpkins just out to get us, haha, revenge for the bad reviews
Alex Spalding: hahaha it’s a secret plot from that christmas label
KN: hahahaha my goth, i think we should make one review having all these haters together
Alex Spalding: YES
KN: shit we don’t have a lot of haters really
Alex Spalding: then mark williams rides in on a unicorn bringing peace and good vibes to all
*2 days later*
Alex Spalding: I keep thinking… I must be careful on the Mark Williams review, because for some reason, I don’t want to write a really bad review, even though his music is so terrible, and I even want him to keep making music. Really, he just needs to learn to sing or something, haha! I’ve added a tiny bit to the review, haha… tried to get us started again
*1 day later*
MN: ❤ Mark Spalding and Mark Nobuko, Mark Nederpel and Mark Thompson. Maybe one day we should write a mark special
Mark Spalding: We should definitely do a Mark special, hahaha!!!
MN: yes!! i agree about the mark special. will check out the mark williams thing soon ❤
Mark Spalding: I didn’t add much to the mark williams, just got us started on the first track, haha…
*5 days later*
MN: i will try to join you in the monster weekend 🙂 i will try to get my hands on some monsters too ❤
Mark Spalding: Nice, happy to hear! 😀 I can’t wait to see what monsters you might dig up! (Maybe a Mark Williams monster??? I’m going to be throwing some more work into that one and maybe we can put it out over the weekend too) ❤ ❤
MN: yess, i will peak in it a couple of minutes later. would love to give that monster a good well deserved rest on yeah i know it sucks
Mark Spalding: I’m going into Mark Williams mode, haha!
MN: haha, oke i will see you at the mark williams then, i might turn up first 🙂
Mark Spalding: awesome!
*Several minutes later*
MN: man.. i’m going to check mark williams now.. will check back with u later
Mark Spalding: Ok! Have fun! 😀 I should be there soon…
MN: see u there ❤
Mark Spalding: I’m going to try and get a little more on the Mark Williams now…
*1 hour later*
Mark Spalding: Man, it’s like, every time I’m so focused on finally adding something to the Mark Williams review I go in and only end up adding maybe a sentence. It’s hard! It’s like, how do you review something you’re not even able to listen to? 😛
MN: o O i’m going coockoo ❤ exactly! i have the same problem with mark, haha! good old mark… perhaps we should ask advice from the people of vital weakly, they are good at writing reviews without listening. it’s not that i don’t want to listen to our friend mark’s music, it is just that i feel as if mark don’t want his music to be listened too, hahaha
Mark Spalding: hahaha! you’re probably right! did you hear the instrumental version?
MN: i think everyone who can listen to it intensively from the beginning to the start.. no breaks and not as background music really should deserve some kind of medal
Mark Spalding: it’s funny because the music isn’t that great to be listened to alone without vocals, but poor mark with his vocals makes the music even more unlistenable
MN: no i don’t think i came past that point, hahaha! he is quite a genius
Mark Spalding: it’s just terrible, haha! Savant-terrible
MN: the pentagon should hire him for getting answers of dissidents
Mark Spalding: hahaha
MN: so you don’t wanna speak up, he? we don’t do waterboarding any more, but we got something better! spotlight pops on, mark enters and does its things
Mark Spalding: First track plays, “I’ll talk, I’ll talk, please no more!!!”
MN: hahaha, i would probably start to cry, it’s so horrible we got to make it nice. somehow, hahaha
Mark Spalding: I’d almost be willing to post the review in the state it is currently in, it’s really bad but… what can be done? I do not know. I only wish I could do better with it, but it’s like pulling teeth, hahaha
MN: i really feel we are on some kind of mission impossible on this one
Mark Spalding: yes, that’s how I feel! I want to make it possible, it’s just really so hard
MN: maybe just add that part? maybe we should categorize and treat it differently, see it as a well made noise release. melodical harsh noise, hahah! it’s definitely more unlistenable, thats for sure
Mark Spalding: that’s a way to do it, yeah… like, it’s the next logical progress after Merzbow
MN: give me a couple of harsh noise walls and i can go through it, but this? hahaha, yes.. the new generation merzbow
Mark Spalding: harshpop
MN: only if he was a bit more prolific. we should add that in the review though, mark williams music can be compared to merzbow
Mark Spalding: I know, that’s part of what makes it difficult is that there’s nothing else, which makes me feel like… what if everything for him is riding on this? This is the make me or break me album, haha
MN: i’m sure his next album will exactly sounding the same
Mark Spalding: most likely…
MN: just like merzbow really, haha, he can just release the same album over and over again
Mark Spalding: the instrumental version of the album didn’t exist previously, I don’t think, or at least I didn’t see it before, so I think someone must have told him that the vocals were bad, but he’s got both versions up on bandcamp.
MN: who gonna notice it? ah poor mark, now i really want to make a nice review, maybe he doesn’t even know merzbow
Mark Spalding: I know, it’s such a puzzle
MN: maybe we can put him in the category of harry merry? mark williams? he is a genius! someone we don’t understand! someone like einstein with music skills! nah.. too much, einstein will turn in his grave
Mark Spalding: Yeah, that’s a stretch probably, hahaha
MN: did you add a sentence?
Mark Spalding: Yeah, just one or two in this thing total, I need to keep adding more
MN: i’ll try to add one
Mark Spalding: maybe the review will eventually figure itself out, haha
MN: maybe thats the ‘game’
Mark Spalding: it’s the only one I can play with this review at the moment… try and come up with a sentence and hope that eventually it will turn into something, or that an idea will come to me.
MN: i added a line. i’ll come back in a sec. it’s going to rain want to get my doggie kids out to run before it hits the roof, i will add another line to it when back 🙂
Mark Spalding: added some more, but yeah… haha
MN: oke i’ll check. oke one more sentence. it’s like we are making the road to rome and we are claying the stones ourselves 😉 you sure you can make this monster weekend?
Mark Spalding: if this is the way 😀
MN: hit me up if you managed to write another one. i wanted to write lol.. but it isn’t even a joke, haha! oh man.. please add a sentence.. the tension is too intense
*1 day later*
Mark Spalding: I had an idea today when I woke up… a crazy idea, but maybe the best idea for the Mark Williams review… remove all of the dialog, from the narrator down, and just write all our thoughts about the music from the garden… I thought about doing it, but… haha, I didn’t want to delete a bunch of stuff that you and I had written without your approval of the idea. 😛 I think we could, if we’re super lazy, just copy and paste all the stuff we were coming up with right into the review.
MN: about Mark Williams. please do cut, paste and delete as you please!. we must follow the dreams and idea’s that come in dreams ❤
Mark Spalding: Ok, I will! I will do it tonight
*1 day later*
Mark Spalding: Going to work on the Mark Williams review tonight…
*A few hours later*
Mark Spalding: Ok… be sure to look over the Mark Williams review… to make sure it’s not mean… we’ll have to apologize at the end deeply for any meanness… because, I think we might be Mark Williams two biggest fans by now! We should start an official fan club. We’ll just call it Club Mark.
~ Dear Mark Williams, and fans and lovers of Mark Williams; Mark Spalding and MN honestly apologize for any meanness in our previous conversation/review. This is because we honestly love Mark Williams and his music, he is one of a kind and that should be cherished.
We love you Mark!