Is Mark Weekend over yet? Can I drop one more of these Mark turds into our funky toilet?
Oh, I’ve gotten in on a technical, as it is not just yet Monday here, so I’d like to bring you this very special interview I’ve been working on!
If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like, being Mark Markovich, well… wonder no more!!! I promise, you won’t have to crawl through any Markovich holes… we’re giving you the inside poop right here at YIKIS! I recently sat down in front of a computer hooked up to the internet which was also being simultaneously manipulated from a computer elsewhere in real-time by a certain Mark Markovich.
Who is Mark Markovich, you might ask?
Are you kidding me?
Actually, I don’t know either, and I’m still not too much closer to figuring out. The point is, he agreed tenuously to an interview and answered none of my burning questions…
Alex Spalding: Hello, Mark Markovich! My name is [expunged:redundancy] and I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind participating in a brief interview about yourself for an organization I volunteer for, the Y.I.K.I.S. Group Trust. We’re running a “weblog” featuring interviews and I thought it would be interesting to speak with you.
Mark Markovich: Hello, Alex! I wouldn’t mind, but kind of confused, what were you wanting to know? Thanks!
Alex Spalding: Well, first, let me say that I’m honored you’ll let us interview you! My first question is, how long have you been doing this?
Mark Markovich: Um, well I’m currently retired, I think you might have me confused with someone else.
Alex Spalding: Ok, let’s say you were a vampire and you had to drink blood for a living, not saying that’s you or anything necessarily, merely speaking figuratively, but how do you feel generally about garlic? Holy water?
… unfortunately, the interview ended there as I didn’t get any answer back, which can only mean one thing…
I was going to ask him if he played music at any point in his unlife, like Lestat or something in those horrible Anne Rice novels, but alas… ’twas… naught… to be… or, it didn’t happen, in other words.
I’m left to wonder what kind of music a vampire would play, anyway? Classical, maybe Romantic era? Gothic rock? It would probably just depend on when the vampire came into vampirism, I suppose, and how involved they still were in the arts and humanities.
But, if you hear the flutter of bat wings in the night and should feel enchanted, beckoned out of your medieval cottage as if by magic, only to come upon the grim, lonesome, predatory figure of Mark Markovich, please ask him to write us back with the answers to these mysteries!