Sometimes the requests are coming across like those sex and relationships adds in a newspaper. You know ‘Romantic business M, 34 y.o. bald, largely build, looking alright, in search for big melons, slender with big behind and long thin legs who can cook.’
in the ‘review’ section I found this one:
Auxiliary Mammals is a noise rock band from Baltimore, MD.
Our influences are Arab on Radar, Daughters, The Jesus Lizard, on and on…
Now think about me as being this pair of big melons, slender with a big behind all perfectly in balance on two long thin legs with cooking skills; would I pick up the phone and call Auxiliary Mammals up and go for a hot date? Would I cook for this noise rock band from Baltimore?
The name Auxiliary Mammals sound attractive, a bit animalistic; but hey I love animals.
But the influence describing Auxiliary Mammals is a tough cookie; who are all of them?
As a big breasted slender (with big behind) and long thin legs cook, I do not know any of them.
Shall I pick up the yellow pages and research the influences and styles of Auxiliary Mammals their influences? Arab on Radar? Is this a visual joke? Can you see the Arab on a radar in your mind as clear as I see him there as some kind of cable guy who can’t come down?
Daughters’ ah Yeah I Know.. Daughters.. no, no I don’t have them.. Would I make them with Auxiliary Mammals? I’m not sure yet; daughters they cost a lot of money; they want and need things..
and ‘The Jesus Lizard’ hmm.. It’s a great name, but as a influence? Let’s eat a cactus instead..
on an on… ? Is this some kind of early nineties house band? Some kind of 2Unlimited?
Basically Auxiliary Mammals is a complete mystery to me. I do not know any of its description influences and that makes it hard to know what kind of stuff we are dealing with here.
Auxiliary Mammals are like ‘Technical Arabs with daughters following The Jesus Lizard while dancing on ‘on and on’?’ Sounds kinda wicked, isn’t it? Let’s give it a go and ‘date’ them..
Ah, this is sounding nothing than their influences implied! The first track ‘Black Sheep’ is an instant booster of noise rock that actually got me hooked in some instant psychosis. It must be that fanatically played hanging riff that gets my thin legs and large melons shaking like a little kitchen princess.
Also the love for animals really seems to be fruitful as they sound like wild bears, jamming loudly and proudly their short tempered tunes that so delightfully bounce on my big behind. The fanatic play style with the throat expression from the vocalist on top; definitely makes me want to run to my cooking pans and charm them thin legged cooking skills. I like them.. I like them so much I could live with them even if that means that there has to be someone on a radar, daughters running around, accepting a belief in a religious sounding The Jesus Lizard ; and even a 2unlimited – marathon.
I’m no thin legged, big melons and big behind Blondy with cooking skills..
This isn’t a perfect world, and this wasn’t a relationship advertisement in some local paper,
but a serious request for music to be reviewed. So all dating fantasies, influences, and cooking offers aside, the music can be found over at the following link: