Artist: Various Artists
title: people shit on everything and are surprised that they only see shit – Weakie Discs’s audio zine #7 – Big Issue
keywords: diy, experimental, avant-garde, electro, noise, outsider, music, post-punk, singer-songwriter, Poland
label: Weakie Discs
reviewer: Simon Hit
Today it’s a day of shit. I’ve got a big issue over here; Literally a minute or so I had fallen over one big pile of it and now with my face inside it’s freshness, I lay and muffle up a review. My first impression was one of excitement; this pile of shit smelled like horses. I licked up a bit more with my Jugface, and could clearly indentify that this wasn’t just the normal taste of horse shit; but this one has an Asian flavor! Japanese Horse shit, black as the night; smelly as an blood rush from falling in to this huge amount of glorious mystery shit.
I liked what I tasted, and smelled and so my quest to indentify more of this pile of hard body excrement continued. Hmm.. The next bite was definiately tasting indifferent. In fact it tasted like Indifferent Spaces and something that had an after smell of the wings of a wasp. If you don’t know about wings of a wasp and their curing specifics than you should dive in this turd with me! You won’t regret it as it’s a delicious experience. A bit more sniffing and you’ll too be over the moon with this part of the quality shit.
If we look further with our noses in the surprisingly good shit, we can find the excellent Satanatum part. It taste like it has been laying under the bluish skies, which is odd as the turd actually sounded quite fresh. Be careful though with your teeth as there might be some irresistible lo-fi rock parts that can grind your teeth..
One sniff more and a kiss of the tongue further and we meet a more costly part of this gigantic piece of shit. In fact this might be not just a single shit, but a complete pile of them! It’s strange this part tastes a bit like the sea, but when you press your ear in this part of the shit, you can clearly hear Whales.. these rather large beasts seems to be singing some kind of ballad that I can’t understand. Is this the sound of turd fishes having fun? Singing and whaling micro bacteria? roaming around in shit, and now singing for us?
The next part that my tongue carefully spooned up was surprisingly cold, it might be even a bit frozen. I spat it out and found a clue. ‘Blue’. I know this is lame, but it rhymes with ‘Scooby Doo’.
‘Blue’ started to sing in a dirty Tom Waits style, and it strangely made me want to smoke a sigar and eat dinner.. I guess there is no food around, so let’s eat more shit.
I noticed strangely that I didn’t even had a choice than continuing this story of sniffing, hearing, eating and reviewing shit as I probably had fallen quite hard and the body doesn’t seem to want to move anywhere else. Better enjoy and spend my time in this shit wisely, as there seems to be ‘No Way Out’. Which is actually what this part of the turd reminds me off; what a great chemical taste it has here, as if it’s been molded, slightly tumbled around in a cow’s appendix ready to be consumed by shit eaters of all kinds.
I think lying with my head move-less in this gigantic pile of entertaining shit is a reason for tripping balls, as I believe to hear absolutely strange music coming out of the turd. It’s like listening to a bunch of farm animals singing Christmas carols. What the hell is this? I believe to love it, although it also scares the hell out of me; did my brain just lose contact with normality? Don’t worry ‘I Will Always Love You’..
Blech! The next bite brings me back to reality. This is real ‘Pooping’ material and it is awakening but hard to swallow. Oh goth have mercy, someone save me from this tremendous amount of shit!
What? Can it be? I smell and hear Rust? My favorite artist on a favorite label named Weakie Discs?
Am I hallucinating again? Is this my savior? Rust? Rust! Pull me out of here, drag me out of this pile of smelliness! Are you my guardian angel? Rust? Please save me with your Paper Sheet Fleet!
Ah.. Rust is gone.. All hope is lost, now some troubled youth is shouting above me while hopelessly chilling out in this pile of shit. What’s going on kid? Can you please help me? Don’t be angry.. I’m sorry, please don’t shout.. I didn’t mean to tremble my face in your pile of feces.. thousand apologies Siksa!
I can feel some movement.. Someone is actually rescuing me from this desperate situation. A pair of arms drag me out.. What you saying? You are Rama The Red and I want to die in your arms? No, no.. just call an ambulance.. This isn’t your fault.. No, no I don’t want to die in your arms.. No this is a misunderstanding.. Please, put me back in the shit.. Please..
Yeaah! Rama The Red has left me back in the shit and it feels cozy and pleasant. It is the part that comes across as if Feldgrau made it freshly from the bunghole. I can even hear the intestines bubbling; that’s how fresh this piece of the shit is! I feel in shit heaven, what a joy!
My tongue licks up a energetic vibe of shit that taste very much like ‘Moralna Lewatywa’. I wish to open my eyes, but as they are stuck with shit; I can just imagine how this part will look like. Very raw, a bit yellow and brownish; perhaps a slight form of speedy pooped out diarrhea! It taste like fun really!
Then suddenly I feel like I’ve been licking too much shit on the same place. So much so that I’m now licking the gravel that was underneath it. It taste like the street, but with my tongue scraping the surface I can clearly identify that it is paved with a brilliant substance of krewolej.
I might have swallowed a bit too much of shit, but started to feel hungry for more! Especially when I can snort the pleasant smelling part that reminds me of Sraczka Dziwaczka! It makes me feel like my legs and arms are recovering; now doing beautiful movements in the gigantic turd as a moment of catchy dance appreciation. I might feel a bit Zicka! But that’s a good thing!
I might care about the other ‘symptom’s later, but now I’m quite frankly enjoying my time in this shit to the max. Tripping on irresistible groovy experimental shit that smothers nicely all over the face.
Ah, shit! This shit is delicious!
I can hear someone.. Is that Lxnnnie? Nice one.. Please do leave me here in this shit, I’m absolutely fine here. It’s my destination and if you (for some absurd reason) are reading this; it might be your calling too! Come on fall over and dig your nose, tongue and most important ‘your ears’ in this mega shit compilation! As without doubt, this is the good shit!