title: Bass And Guns
keywords: single, massive attack, portishead, electronic, band,
words by: Bertus Ullshit
Hey Yeah I know it sucks,
New electronic band ‘Superhand’ release new single ‘Bass And Guns’ as a taster to their forthcoming EP entilted ‘American Teeth’, they are currently based inthe mountains of Mid Wales, Portishead meets Massive Attack in my eyes, let me know what you think and if they are suitable for the show,
Dear Aled Thomas,
Thanks for asking; at the moment I’m thinking what show you are referring too. But before reading your PR mail I was actually thinking about ice cream. Chocolate ice cream to be specific. But as this thought has now left the mind, wandering what show you are talking about; I guess the answer to one part of your question is ‘I’m thinking about what, who and which show?’. Perhaps you are thinking of Yeah I Know It Shugs the Dog and Pony Broadway show? We’ve got unfortunately nothing to do with that, mate.
Or perhaps you mean to ask if we think that this band is ready to be shown in the real world? In case that’s the case; well why the hell not? It’s obvious that you don’t need our honest opinion to decide if the band is ready or not. Our blog is (I’m afraid) not entirely a portal for success, or a great way to research if something goes through some approval rating or not. In fact if the band is proper lousy and terrible, there is a big chance we praise it into super stardom; that’s the honest truth dear PR person.
On a side note; I hope your eyes are alright. As sincerely speaking; to have Portishead and Massive Attack clashing inside of them, could be quite the invitation for checking them out at a closest optician. I’ve had once a fly that had flown in one of them, and that was already a pretty painful and uncomfortable eye encounter. I can’t even think how it must have felt with Massive Attack and Portishead stuck in those pupils. Wish you all the best with that.
But let us get to the point. A new electronic band named ‘Superhand’ right. Is this correct? Or was perhaps the name ‘Superband’ already taken? I don’t know why, (I guess it’s the perverted mind) the band name made me think of a super wank. I mean with a Superhand you should probably expect superior wanking..
This can be a positive thing, or a negative one; totally depends if that’s the image the new electronic band would like to be associated with.
As for the music; it’s alright. Doesn’t come across that electronic, more like alternative-I-don’t-know-what-to-call-it. It can certainly be something and would probably be out of place at the Dog and Pony Show, but a show with music bands that had gathered in your eyes would probably not all that bad. In fact if people really would like an opinion of the YIKIS-people I would say that it would be a good show with this ‘Superhand’ on board.
A little google search brought my ears and eyes even to a video of this ‘Bass and Guns’ single, and it’s really not bad at all. You might want to include it in your next promotional PR mail; visuals are always important, especially if they are moving, and come with the music.
The lack of Superhands in Superhands might be a bit disappointing, but the use of visual effects, fashionable clothes that proofs that assets of the cyber industrial dress style, and ‘head bandage after nose-jobs’ are leaking out to other kinds of music genres is nice to see. Ah, here it is:
Perhaps you would be happy to know that if we ever setup a Yeah I Know It Sucks Show, Superhand won’t be in the lineup as it simply isn’t sucky enough. This sucky unprofessional review however might be shown as a headliner. Standing proudly in the spotlight with all the grammar mistakes, lack of common sense, stupid useless humor and basic dots, comma’s and seriousness.
Oh shit, Moloko just bumped in my left eye! What a pain! I can imagine how it must feel to have Portishead and Massive Attack shaking hands in there.. I better leave this nonsensical rant over here before getting blind.
Good luck with it,