Some professional state of the art music reviewers (let’s call them c*nts) like to nag about splits. How artists on a split almost never seem to belong with each other, how their music is too much of a contrast for these mag-heads to be taken seriously. Well, state of the art reviewers; you should try listening to this split between 世界 andきゃり エロ グロ, which will shove your elite opinion straight down the shit hole. Because? …
Because it’s great of course!
If there is anyone in the world in need for an example of a perfect ‘split’, than this ‘split’ must be it. Two artists smothered together in order to proof the snobbish views of shit-splits wrong. So let me tell ya a bit about this perfect split… Cause why not?
I know it is stupid reading about perfect splits, as it is stupid to read about music in general. It is really dumb, reading about music… Just think about it for a second… Just imagine reading about food… Or reading about cars.. Reading about things you cannot afford… Reading… It’s pretty much hilarious; do you prefer to eat and stuff yourself with a chocolate cake, or read all about it while starving? Why torture yourself by reading about things? Like this perfect split… Why would you want to read about it, while it’s probably much better to actually just hear it…
Or perhaps not… It depends on your music taste, so reading might be a safe thing to do… Although (you have to admit) it is pretty stupid reading about music… Haha… Writing about music is pretty retarded too, but hey everyone deserves some idiotic hobby, so in this case; let’s enjoy our mutual stupidity together.
…so yes… The perfect split…
Of course a perfect split needs one of the two projects to start with a track that suits a beginning. In this case that is世界. The music here is indeed a very strong opener and in my opinion a good choice to get the action going; A cute piano melody, a slight move of your head unexpectedly being placed in a shredder. Then a cute ending of the beginning to scrape all that’s left of your shredded head from the floor, and stick it up on to your neck again. Yes a person, that’s how a perfect split starts, and that’s not how it will end… No, no!
Let us go through the second piece of this perfect split showcase. Obviously the perfect split would give enough space to the artist that had to bite the pressure of delivering the first track. So here 世界 appears again and funny enough; shoves the whole head again in the wood chopper! What a joy! The pleasant mixture of pleasure and pain, that is what perfect splits are all about… And as this is all done in a friendly way, the artist gives again some time to recover with some fine Japanese candy as your instant private nurse; how cute!
Track 3 keeps of course the quality high up in able to keep this perfect split ‘perfect’ and that means that 世界 comes again with a very innovative work. It might be a little harsh, but it’s harsh in an adorable way. Who doesn’t enjoy it when Japanese cuteness sticks your head in a wood chopper every few seconds? But also the return of some happy Jpop is always nice, especially when it transforms into a ear shredding beep that even gets so wild that it still dominates the next track on this split.
What a blessing, as you know; where beeps are, there is noise, and in this case there is a very cute amount of noise. The Japanese bubble gum style really seems to enjoy having intercourse with pleasant harsh noise babble. It’s a sexy and wild time, and there is no sausage of a one minute man involved (as the tune is just 40 seconds in length!)
To make a successful split like this one, it is important to not let each individual artist interfere with the flow of the tracks. That’s why the split continues with the same artist that started it. Yes 世界 launches the fifth track with the whistle of a boiling tea kettle. Hmm, green tea! The Jpop moment that we all had been praying for!
[green tea break]
Ah, people… A fine cup of green tea is always good to celebrate the middle of a successful split. And talking about splits, this is where it really does seem to shape as one. Here the other artist takes over, as you might have read above this isきゃり エロ グロ. What a lovely name!
The first track is an great impression of what it is like being cute in a world full of perversion. The sweetest thing can be heard, slightly sped up to make it even more adorable… And then it gets teased by effective ear destruction until the nastiness loses all it’s grip and smothers itself all over the seductive cuteness. It’s quite perverse how the loud bombastic noise assaults the sweetness, but some people get off on the craziest things so for everything seems to be a time and a place.
And this must be the place for virtual Jpop rapists, going in with unrestricted force of harsh noise, while the happy go lucky scene of innocence colorfully dances around in some kind of cat and mouse game. This is already happening in the second track, asきゃり エロ グロ certainly doesn’t really needs foreplay to gets down, rough and dirty in a sexy noise kind of way.
This game also goes on in the next track, and the artist certainly doesn’t need time to reload its load to squirt out more fanatically loud noises. The high beeps are the most nastiest, but the wild rumbling blows that pounds the cute underbelly is quiet arousing. Instead of a cup of green tea, you might actually want to touch yourself in a way that you really shouldn’t do… But in a noise scene like this; nobody will hear you scream and cream, so well…
The next track is basically the progression of this session and if this is what you are in to, then there is certainly no stopping over here. And that brings us to the final piece of this split. Just imagine the sampled cuteness having a split personality, doing the split while singing a cute song and being under attack of some harsh noise.
From a reviewers perspective it must be repeatedly said that this split is a perfect one; having two artists (one slightly harsher and mental then the other) ((up to you to find out who is who)) perfectly working together to give you one single product.
It is kind of exciting if you are of course into harsh noise, Jpop, kawaii and manga kind of things.. If this is not you, it might be not entirely ‘your cup of green tea’, but if it is you; ‘then you will be enjoying this green cup of tea like nothing else!