10 Questions you never wanted to ask to the GIFgirls of GIFgrond

If you search in the dictionary the word ‘Gifgrond’
you will read something along the lines like this:

GIFGROND is an independent podium (in Tillywood, The Netherlands) for outlaw music and sound improvisations, away from every day mainstream sounds. Independent meaning not being supported by any institution. The performing artists are supported by Gifgrond visitors. GIFGROND is a way of sharing and celebrating the Different, non-pretentious, genuine, marginalized, self-made, self-organized, independent, non-conformist ideas of music. GIFGROND aims at electronics in combination with analog music and thinks live performance to be of great importance. Every GIFGROND contains 3 live acts and a dj for the in betweens and the finishing of the night. Sometimes we dance, sometimes we don’t. Important is the atmosphere and intimate character of the GIFGROND events. GIFGROND’s atmosphere is toxic. That’s why we serve toxic drinks.
GIFGROND is held every 6-8 weeks on a Saturday evening when we party till the morning. GIFGROND’s location is a former metal workshop, GIFGROND raised its flag in 2007 and is not stopping yet!
That’s a lot of space taken away for the other words in the dictionary.,, And because we thought that even this lengthy description didn’t satisfy our curiosity in GIFGROND we placed some adds on dating sites with the question to send in questions for the GIFgirls who run GIFgrond..

we received lots of mail with questions for the gifgirls!

The amount of questions that we got was overwhelming.. so we had to make a firm selection to send over to GIFGROND in the hopeful hopes that the GIFgirls would answer them. The GIFgirls are known for refusing interviews and playing hard to get, but this time (because of the many questions of their genuine fans) they gave in!

Here are:
10 Questions you never wanted to ask to the GIFgirls of GIFgrond

^ Esther van Baalbergen

1. What do you do to keep neighbors (the ones with a more delicate music taste) happy when the sound of toxic audio waste bangs through their toxic walls?
(Esther van Baalbergen, 19, from Zaandam, Netherlands)

Hi Esther.. good question! There are certain tactics we use to keep the delicate neighbors happy. We give them a free toxic GIFmix as soon as they come in!  
Even the guests of the Turkisch café in front of GIFgrond love our music taste and visit us regular for a GIFmix. And of course our free permanent earplugs are selecting exactly the sounds the neighbors wants to hear/not hear them forever. That’s a bit he same, no..?. It can be an exotic experience like the ones have we did give away fake tickets to Hawaii. Unfortunately we can’t go further into detail otherwise we blow our cover and have to think of new tricks!

^ Engelbort Humperdonk

2. How do you know if you are dealing with outlaw music or with an imposter?
(Engelbort Humperdonk, Oestgeest, Netherlands)

Hmmmm…. To tell you the truth it doesn’t matter whether we deal with the real deal or an imposter. They really look alike especially in the vibrant glow in the dark!! We make sure that our audience always goes home with a wonderful feeling! Every GIFgrond we give them all our love!

^ Tiny Tina

3. How to deal with intoxicated visitors who glow in the dark like hazardous aliens?
(Tiny Tina, 35, Hilversum 3, Knolland)

Because we serve toxic glow in the dark drinks our visitors ALL glow like aliens but that is the best way to enjoy GIFgrond Tina. We’ve been always interested in extraterrestrial life. These species feel easily home at GIFgrond. It doesn’t bother us where they come from. Illegal is fine too! They can stay temporary or permanent! So don’t worry and come and visit GIFgrond.

^ Simon Hit

4. It is widely known that the toilet & shower facility at GIFgrond is an actual time warp transporter. How do you deal with the relatives of an intoxicated GIFgrond visitor who in a drunk daze accidentally switches on the mechanism & never comes out of the GIFgrond shower/toilet again?
(Simon Hit, 53, the Internet, Online)

Hi Simon, it is true that our toilet is actually a warp transporter. That is the reason we start our GIFgrond events with more people than at closing time. We still haven’t figured out what makes the toilet warp so it seems a random happening. Maybe some people flush the toilet and then things happen?
But all time travelers have come back somehow and they tell us about their place and time travels. We now have a special time travel GIFgrond group who shares their time travel experiences. Oh yea, one time traveler did not return. He traveled to Bangkok in the 20 th century.

^ Anneloes

5. Is there a medic available in case the legend among legends DJ DMDN plays his breaks so loud that actual ankles break?
(Anneloes, 16, Tillywood, Nederland)

We have a special EHBO GIFkit ready for things like that. It has some detox in it, mild sedative, depressant, tranquilizer, cooling bandages and the like.
In emergency there are ice cubes, of course for a cool drink but we can offer some of them. The GIFgrond girls both have an EHBO aka First Aid GIF Diploma aka Emergency Care At Victims, so they know what to do in case of ankle breaks, heart breaks and other painful incidents. They have taken lessons next to their heavy GIFgrond job. A very high level course at the KNV, raised in 1983. You can recognize the EHBO GIFgirls wearing a red cross.  I guess you didn’t know but there’s also a fire extinguisher behind the bar for when the DJ gets electrocuted.
But fortunately no major incidents happened over the years so don’t be afraid and come out and dance with us Anneloes! You can become exceptionally limber when DJ DMDN plays. The next day you will be good prepared for your hot yoga lessons at the back of GIFGROND!

^ Bassie

6. Your famous home baked poisoned drinks are a well searched for delicatessen among regular boozers & psychedelic explorers. Is there by any chance you can spill a hint about its internal organs destroying ingredients?
(Bassie, 102, Caravan, Paramaribo)

Hi Bassie!
We don’t have many secrets but hey we can’t spill the beans on this one. We can’t tell the ingredients of our poisoned drinks otherwise some wise crack will bring this goody stuff to the market and the whole world will be able to destroy its internal organs but pay too much money for it.
We like to be the only ones who do so and we are cheap as can be. I hope you understand. We can light up one tip of the veil; the deep experience you get from the drinks is brought into them by our spiritual relieved bartender who always wears a smile and lots of buttons on his tie.
But thanks for asking!

^ Simona A

7. Most people expect the unexpected when going for a GIFgrond party.
It is pretty clear that the unexpected is expected, but what can the expected visitors not expect?
(Simona A. , 30, Berlin, Deutschland)

This is a real philosophical question Simona. And all the way from Berlin.. it’s a real honour and it’s a good thing that the GIFgrond girls know their philosophy! We would say. The unexpected state of affairs can never be expected for if so the expected of the expected of GIFgrond’s unexpectancy is no more unexpected than the unexpected of the unexpected of the visitors in GIFgrond.
It is a Wittgenstein concept.

^ Marco

8. Is GIFgrond a legal venue or are the pigs being paid off with powerful horse tranquilizer (hidden in good looking and tasty donuts?)
(Marco Borstator, Benidorm, Spain)

GIFgrond is a very legal and respected venue. The police always come and make sure no one will bother us while we are having a good time.. They change shifts every hour; yes also they want to be part of the party and don’t want too miss all the excitement! When you can’t find them, just search for the pole in the middle of GIFgrond. Mostly they swing around this beautiful pole. We found out that they are the best in pole dancing we’ve ever seen! And yes of course we give them donuts with lots of sugar on top to stay in good shape! 😉

^ Sjak

9. GIFgrond is a place of good adventurous vibes, either it being Gameboy-Johnny, Nico Noise, Bello Breakcore, Arie Ambient, Peter Punk, Anus Avant-garde, Eddie Experimental, Freddie Freak & Ed Cetera… You must have a lot of precious memories as well as gifts that this crazy bunch had left behind on the grounds of GIFgrond. Can you show us a few of those precious souvenirs?
(Sjak, Antenna, Tillywood)

Hi there Sjak Antenna!
This is a really good question and we have to crack our brains for this one.
We have a lot of good memories and collected quite some souvenirs.
Let’s see… We had Toxic Chicken, one of our very first guests who were wonderful and very talented. He sprayed the place with shaving cream after he covered his almost naked body with it. There is still some cream sitting on the ceiling as a souvenir.
We had a band called Asian Women on the Telephone and they performed with costumes made of paper. We still find pieces of paper now and again. Some have telephone numbers on it from Asian women… very strange.
A lot of bands leave their cd, tape, vinyl, posters behind for us. And signatures at our body (we can’t tell you where) and that is also a great souvenir of course. Sometimes we find a few bones…after we haven given away our special collectors item ‘The GIFgrond Lighter’!

^ Simon Hit

10. What if an amazing never seen or heard before extremely shy, new and upcoming fartist is so talented and original that she or he can fart on all fours a complete repertoire of wonderful stuff; would you be interested in hearing this phenomenal talent?
(Simon Hit, 53, the Internet, Online)

GIFgrond is a venue for the musical marginalized of society and the do it yourself minds so definitely we would like to hear and smell this fartist. Bring him on!

get in touch with them if you are that fartist that they need to see and hear!
send them a email info@gifgrond.nl, check them on fecesbook!
or simply come party and/or play at gifgrond
visit their website for more info:
WWW.GIFGROND.NL