Spoken Nerd – Forbidden

Lions and tigers and beards, oh my! Gotta watch out for Spoken Nerd's Forbidden single if you're ever out walking alone in the woods someday. The legends are true!

Lions and tigers and beards, oh my! Gotta watch out for Spoken Nerd’s Forbidden single if you’re ever out walking alone in the woods someday. The legends are true!

Artist: Spoken Nerd
Title: Forbidden
Label: None
Cat#: None
Keywords: Hip-Hop, Rap, Indie
Reviewer: Alex Spalding

The musical life involves so many journeys, during which paths can cross at the most surreal intervals. I was standing in line for a coffee a day or two ago and there was this guy behind me. He started chatting me up and seemed really nice. He had an enormous beard! We talked about grocery stores, it turned out he’s from Nashville and, fast-forwarding through our conversation a bit, I found out he’s a traveling musician! I was instantly like, “Oh, cool, I write music reviews!” So, he got my info, jotted it in his phone and said he’d send me some stuff for review in the mail! Awesome!

It’s funny when things like that happen.

Well, I decided to be proactive and go search his Bandcamp, just so nobody had to wait around for anything. He told me he went by Spoken Nerd, doing nerd rap style stuff, which… isn’t usually what I’m out there looking for, but I never miss a chance to immerse my head in something I’ve never really delved into before in this wide world of sound. I found that he’s got a few things up on his site, so I picked the thing with the most eye-catching album art and… I then hovered my mouse over the play button…

… then I clicked it…

… then…

… it began to load…

… once it had finished loading, though, a track called ‘Forbidden’ began to play. It starts off with some sizzle, what sounds like an accordion tone… then the dude starts spitting rhymes, a break comes in, there’s a bit of guitar. It’s mixed well. I never really talk about lyrical content, since my brain’s always so wrapped up in the sounds and feelings of the music, so I’ve decided to plug in one of our robots, the Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000!

This is going to be really great. It’s the first time we’ve had a chance to use this thing since buying it last year out of someone’s old dusty pleasure palace. I hope it still works!

Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000: *krrrshhh* *cough* Zip zop zaborgle, please feed rhymes into the Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000 for instant lyrical analyzation, *zzzzrrrrr*

Oh, this is great! It seems to be not malfunctioning, sort of! Um… here you go, I’ll just slip the track into your… chute, or whatever…

Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000: *bshpshbshp* Mm, crunchy…

… um… hey! C’mon, I hope this stupid robot didn’t just eat the track and all the lyrics!

Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000: Yep.

… 😦

Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000: … Preparing analyzation.

… oh, ok, cool!

Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000: Ah, yes. Loose flow. Not too fast, but not too slow. A beard is involved, yes? Yes… I see it. I see it in the rhyme. The rhyme reveals all, to me. I have cracked it’s secrets; it’s past, it’s present… it’s future. Oh, yes… I see everything. The lyricist is imparting something… he likes girls to dress up as Rainbow Brite… that’s a cartoon from the 1980s… also, he wishes for a return to Eden. He seems to be surrounded by narcissistic mannequins… and he’s just trying to make it so he’s livin’…

Wow, this has been sort of informative!

Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000: Also, I’m about to explode.

… wait… what?

Lyrical Analyzer-O-Matic 2000: I dunno, that just happens.


Ah, geez… what a mess. Kind of unfortunate, I guess, though I’d been planning on breaking that thing anyway with some James Joyce.

Well, this has been an interesting foray into the world of nerd rap and hip-hop musics! Perhaps we will have more! Go and take a plunge into this yourself at the link I’ve left conveniently below these words… and if you see a dust broom anywhere, let me know. Bye!


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