Title: Kenny G
Label: Kenny G
Keywords: Kennystyle, Soft Gs
Reviewer: Alex “Kenny G” Spalding
I realized today, it’s been awhile since I’ve been confronted with anything that seriously challenged any of my well worn beliefs as a total weirdo. Maybe that means that I’m finally right, and everyone I know is also right. Hooray for us! Most right of all, however, is this:
Maybe we can be snobby butt faces for a couple minutes while this sax plays into the night. Back to what I was saying before, though, the last time I can truly remember something coming out of anyone’s mouth that presented any kind of threat to the notions about reality that I’ve cherished enough to store in my reptilian brain receptacle was when The Hobbit came out and I ended up in an argument with a group of people on the internet about the high frame-rate version being complete shit. Which, it is, and anyone who says otherwise just hates art. I think the problem is that some people will never really care about cinema or art the way I do… the way we do, reader… in that special way that conjures the audio equivalent of making sweet, sweet love: smooth, sexy soprano saxin’.
And, it makes me think about when I was really young. A cousin of mine came by the house, and I was like, dude, you’ve gotta check out this video game. It was some rpg or something… I put it in and he sat there and immediately started mashing the buttons, skipping all of the text. I was like, “Ahh! What are you doing!?” and he’s like, “Uh, I’m trying to get to the game.” I’m like, man, you don’t get it, this is the game… how are you gonna immerse in this world I’ve just stuck you in? I used to get tricky, though, and try to make appeals on whatever basis I thought might click in other people’s minds, like “Oh, you’ll miss some important info that you’ll have to remember later in order to get through a puzzle” or whatever, total shit, but even that kind of thing stops working eventually with people getting around it, saying “well, if I get stuck, why don’t you just tell me how to get through?”
And, the answer is because you’ll never get there, you’re not feeling this thing for how it works. Why do people do this? Stop resisting profound art!
So many cynical people probably think, well, why bother? Why waste your time trying to change anyone else’s mind about media?
Right. That’s absolute shit, and I’ve heard it all before. You think that kind of talk ever stopped this guy from playing his sexophone to crowds of people who probably never wanted to be there in the first place?
But, my answer to these silly questions… when I was a teenager I had a friend over to watch a film I was really into once. About a quarter of the way through this thing he’s like, “Man… I’m sorry, but this is really boring” and I’m like, “No, no, trust me, it gets a lot better!” So, we continued through, then a few minutes later he’s like, “Do you, uh… think we could fast forward a bit?” Ugh. Sacrilege! I’m like, “Trust me, man, this movie’s not much longer, and it gets good, seriously.” and he’s like, at this point telling me, “Uh, are you sure, because this kind of sucks so far.”
But, when it ended, he was like, “Dude… that was awesome, you were right!” and then for weeks after when we’d be at school or wherever he’d show me these drawings he’d done of characters from the film. I was like, oh, yeah, that’s cool, man.
And, that is why. Because, sometimes, it gets through and changes people into doodlers, or other types of fanatic. Other weirdos, like you and me.
Try and imagine, for a minute, a world in which everyone were into everything and let all of the art in the world effect them completely, and how different that world would be, and filled with saxophones playing everywhere, filled with weirdos. It would be so weird. Let’s get there, together, some day…
… and yeah, I know, Kenny G sucks.