Artist: Luke Haines
title: British Nuclear Bunkers (video)
keywords: analogue, synthesizers, video, instrumental, arty-farty,
label: Cherry Red Records http://www.cherryred.co.uk/
words by: Inspector Nessie
There is this video depicting one of the far great great ancestors of members of Kraftwerk.. Not sure how this prehistoric hairy creature has made it into 2015, but who knows it might have something to do with the scientific looking dude in its chemical radiation costume next to him.
Might this person researched kraftwerk’s family history, build a time machine and dragged the related artistic monkey over to the future, into these British Nuclear Bunkers? And with what obvious purpose might this be done, other than launching this figure into an electronic pop star of the far future, making enough money before a crazy country will nuke the planet into an inhabited mess?
It seems that the plan is successful, carefully directing the creature a name totally unrelated to the relatives of the members of the original Kraftwerk, almost successfully erasing the roots and proof of this baboon not just being a random baboon. But one of Luke Haines’s a ominous baboons… This is not one who eats bananas in the zoo, this is an intelligent creature that loves to play with buttons, faders, lemons, synths and (probably) pocket calculators.
Yet, I, inspector Nessie is on to them. I’ve done my research, I’ve followed them around, I’ve analyzed secret small pieces of the creature’s hair and found the DNA snippets to rest my case… I’ve not found the time machine, yet, but this music… the music here, was enough material to convince me that this intelligent looking hairy animal is the ancestral ape of R. Hütter and F. Schneider (the original Kraftwerk people) and probably whispering and channeling ideas to this Luke Haines entrepreneur.
I’ve got no reason to arrest them as i actually quite like the music and the video, but hope that someone informs the hairy one to move a bit more stiff, and to not forget to connect the electric wires before you playback yourself out of it; what would your great great great greater great grandsons think of your artistic presentation?
For now I let this slip and do not report back to the office of alleged time traveling gorilla kidnap, but will keep an eye on this lot…