Various Artists – YURI

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Artists: various
title: YURI
Keywords: diy experimental incubate yuri custom get in shape plank table drumming wood Leiden
label: Smikkelbaard http://smikkelbaard.bandcamp.com/
Judging judge: Judy’s Fingers

Finger skating is a thing that breaks my mind into a thousand pieces, shoves it in a garbage bag and then places it directly in a hot burning fire. It’s just one of these things I can’t seem to understand, it’s like skate boarding for lazy people. They place their fingers on tiny miniature skateboards and then skate all over a miniature skate parkour, or perhaps just between the stuff on an average table. Believe me or not, it’s a thing and it’s tremendously popular.

They let their fingers skate on these mini skateboards as if their hands are not attached to their fingers. They flip the board, doing a looping in the air and surprisingly their fingers never fall off. Why they not go out to skate on the real thing? I really have no idea, even playing a skateboard computer game makes more sense than the finger skate sensation. Anyway, forgive my rant.
I shouldn’t talk about things i do not understand… I’m sure finger skating is cool.

So why the finger skate introduction? Well the tool for finger drumming as praised by record label Smikkelbaard somehow reminded me of an alternative use of such micro skate board. They might use them instead for useless finger skating as miniature finger drumming boards! Much better use and somehow there is much more action involved; the fingers have to actually move in a rapid tempo, count and hit the board to produce creative drum patterns and it might even make your sausage sized fingers lose some weight over time..

Forget finger skating, I’m talking about a real sport; table finger drumming!

The well skilled finger drummers on the following release don’t seem to have (or use) miniature finger skateboards to drum upon, but a tool named YURI. It’s specially designed to practice the athletic finger skills for the upcoming world championship table finger drumming. This event will be held in May, but already we can dip our ears into the promising athletes their finger drumming potential with the help of the latest release on the glorious label.

Of course we could just tell you a bit of bullshit about each track, but why not use it as a pre-round? An unbiased attempt of claiming your honest reviewer as a jury and the artists on this release as the candidates to impress my ears with their finger drumming capabilities? Of course I do not know what these athletic fingers will be judged upon when the real championship will be held on the 13th of May, but I can just imagine some things to judge myself. Because I’m a selfish judge I will not invite any other judges to judge these tracks, so yes; I’m a great dictator & my judgement will be honest and brutal.

Let’s say we use a score of one out of five fingers. One will be not so impressive and five will be super impressive. Categories for judgement will be ‘speed’, ‘control’, ‘groove’ and ‘originality’. I hope this will make sense, but if not; don’t worry about it.

Let the games begin!

Tim / Monomentum
1

Speed: 4 fingers
Control: 4 1/2 fingers
Groove: 5 fingers
Originality: 3 fingers

Mike / Barreuh
1

Speed: 4 fingers
Control: 4 fingers
Groove: 4 fingers
Originality: 5 fingers

Bart / KIEFF
1

Speed: 3 fingers
Control: 5 fingers
Groove: 5 fingers
Originality: 3 1/2 fingers

Mitchell / The Lumes
1

Speed: 5 fingers
Control: 5 fingers
Groove: 5 fingers
Originality: 3 fingers

Rene / Dead Neanderthals
1

Speed: 5 fingers
Control: 5 fingers
Groove: 5 fingers
Originality: 5 fingers

Well ladies and gentlemen that means the scores are in! So let us see the exciting score results!!

Tim / Monomentum has a score of 16 1/2 fingers!

Mike / Barreuh earns a stunning 17 fingers!

Bart / KIEFF has also a score of 16 1/2 fingers! Isn’t it amazing?

Mitchell / The Lumes has an excellent score of 18 fingers!

… But there can only be one winner over here, and that’s most definitely Rene / Dead Neanderthals with a high score of 20 fingers!!!!

Congratulations!!!

We hope that the candidates will be inspired by this little unexpected contest, and that they work on their skills to fully beat out the competitors at the upcoming finger drum championship! Another super excited sport event that everyone should be on the lookout for!

http://smikkelbaard.bandcamp.com/album/yuri

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