Listening to nothing is as good as an impossible task. How much a person tries, the more it comes to mind that nothing doesn’t seem to exist. Exchange ‘nothing’ for ‘silence’ and you know what I mean; there is simply always something. Even if you decide to hear an album featuring tracks with no sound at all, there are the background noises from your own environment that you’d like to hear the silence in. And even if you’d place yourself in a sound proof room or some kind of floating tank, you’ll soon be listening to your own heartbeat, blood stream or worse; your own thoughts coming from a brain that can’t handle the silence so it will go berserk creating noises that aren’t really there.
Silence is a illusion. Go to a forest or a park on a lonely day, or deep into no-mens land and even though it might be ‘calm’ actual silence is a concept for nut jobs; un findable! And probably pretty unnatural too! If there isn’t a car or an airplane engine around, it’s the birds, insects or simply the rain and the wind that will kill any attempt of ever reaching the state of ‘silence’. Even in this performance of John Cage his famous 4’33 piece you could hear some kind of background drone:
How many librarians have tried to keep their libraries silent? How many teachers have screamed at their students to shut their mouths and be still & how many have succeeded? Even listening to a compilation of tracks with silence isn’t silent. Reviewing it will even disturb the nothingness with the sounds of typing; how disturbing and frustrating! And yes, compilations with tracks with nothing but silence exist… I would say to have heard many of them but considering the topic; that is probably impossible. When those compilations pop up I’ll always laugh a little as they all think they are doing something never done before, something ground breaking; a conceptual gathering of nothingness, while it is actually done so many times that the whole concept of silent silence tracks with nothing in it is a joke on it own, or a smart scheme to generate money.
So what’s the point of this rambling rant about silence? Well I guess it’s my way of introducing an alternative that might please you. Not a release full of noises (as there are so many of that!) but indeed a release with for the most part silence & a surprising surprise that appears at the times you (and potentially others) will pop up to give you a fanatic funny heart attack. Let me try to explain; it’s an album that you could play and basically forget about as its pure silence… But out of nowhere, when you (and potentially other people) won’t expect a thing some crazy cowboy would disturb your attempt to hear silence by doing a fanatic Yee-haw yell! Put the silence up as loud as possible and this surprise appearance might come with the idealistic slapstick moments! You or others around you might fall from your chair, drop whatever you had been carrying on the floor or slip into a freshly baked pie! It’s jolly good slapstick fun to listen to this almost game of silence versus cowboy yell! Play it at the office, in your home, at your parents’ house or anywhere else and let this bring back the fun into all these serious ‘silence’ release! If you can’t beat them, join them with a Yee-Haw!!!
…. Unfortunately this combo of silence and Yee-Haw had been released on CD in 2004 and is as sold out as sold-out could be and notoriously unavailable online as well.. Meaning that there is no other way than just giving up finding the holy grail of silence by listening to music, sounds and noise instead.