Artist: dj goreky
Title: SCHMOLL NICH
Keywords: DJ Mix
Reviewer: Alex Spalding
There are things man was not meant to know, nor meant to do. Playing god, making large hardon colliders, populating the earth with clones of Jerry Seinfeld, farting on the moon, proving Jesus lied about something… these are all things we should definitely do… but, bringing a dj mix from ’07 back to life like Frankenstein’s monster and then reviewing it under a microscope like some kind of sick fucking asshole? That just might be pushing it.
We’re gonna do this anyway, though, for the sake of science, or ego. Take your pick, strap yourself in, and get some water and a molly, because we’re taking the time machine to blast off ALL CAPS TOWARD THE EDGE OF DANCE POSSIBILITIES!
Despite the album title, SCHMOLL NICH was actually a dj mix by the awesome international superstar Goreky, who titled the mix ‘Six Million Ways To Fry’. The whole thing is mysterious like that. Everything Goreky does has this unique quality to it that comes across even when he’s just spinning other tunes, totally frenetic and urgent and infectious, like a dose of legal speed. Pressing play, the first taste is of mellow piano, which would seem at first to contradict what I was just talking about, but then vocals cut in followed by rapid-fire breakbeats and scratches. The piano suddenly jumps up into turbo gear, we get lots of bass thrown in… it’s super manic and funky! It goes dark for a moment, pads creeping in, and the chilly embrace of Moby-esque atmospherics. It doesn’t take long for the machine-gun breaks to re-emerge. I don’t know much about the tracklist on this thing, not even sure I ever received one to begin with. There are a lot of places where stuff just gets tossed in, and I sort of recall him saying he made the thing on a whim and didn’t overly plan it out. Heavy drum n bass happening now, darkside hoovers. Hearing some horns underneath. The way this mix sounds is so much fun, like a mad cartoon. This is close to how I imagine it would sound if Coldcut had done breakcore. Hearing some really great oldschool techno chord stabs, then it’s like a horror movie is dropping in beneath the breakbeats. It starts to slow down, and we arrive in a part of the mix that feels like it’s decaying. Distorted gabba bass tones blare through, followed soon by chopped up snares, video game fx. It’s like a hornets nest of buzzy chip tones. Robots are dancing in my head, and talking through a glass of soda. It’s back into squeaky cartoon breaks, then it’s like someone turned a riot on. The channel never sits for more than a few seconds on any one thing. Eventually, you lose all sense of what’s going on, it’s a whirlwind. I’m hearing toy music box melodies, shooting stars. Now it’s like, glitchcore breaks. Utter madness! Really intense breakbeat chemistry. I hear people screaming in the mix. Heads would explode on the dancefloor. Now, it’s a bit lighter in mood, very digital and lovely. The rhythms grow more twitchy and convulsive… the melodies are great, very Aphex Twin-esque. Uptempo 808 grooves coming on now. This is awesome. Now I feel like I’m listening to some kind of freaky electro funk. It escalates beautifully into some kind of electro-midi weirdness, then some distorted NES tones. Ghostbusters at ridiculous speedcore bpms!!! Bohemian Rhapsody, some sped-up reggae / ragga, blending into blasts of death metal and porno moans. “I like to move it, move it!” No words can accurately describe how crazed this mix is. I think I hear Billy Joel right now underneath some kind of thrash, ffs. A voice is cut up and sampled into a rhythm. Moog vocoders, hip hop grooves, sirens, a distorted lead-foot thump with steel bolts exposed. My head just went elsewhere for a few minutes, I think. I came back for this hot hip hop thing with a gabber 4/4 thing being mixed in. These breaks are making my head spin after awhile, it’s great. Squelches of acid chip cartoons and sharp snares. Everywhere, rhythms… endless rhythmic mutations. Back on Nintendo for a few seconds, then some more distorted bassss. Suddenly, dark strings, and more heavy breakcore jams, extreme distorted dark grooves. It all seems to disintegrate, re-emerging as excessively clipped sampled drums, right before screaming back into a speedcore stomp. Toward the end, we fall back to dark ambiance, strange birds, heavy breathing, melodic weirdness. It hits us over the head one last time with the intense barrage of destructive bass.
I’ve done it! Eureka! Hear this monster yourself at the link conveniently provided right here: