Bastürdkunt – Bastürdkunt

Artist: Bastürdkunt
Title: Bastürdkunt
Keywords: experimental harsh noise industrial noise power electronics sound collage vaporwave Adelaide

Hello welcome at a special in-depth egocentric review. I like to keep things real, so I would like to tell you what I really think of Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt. First of all it had made an long lasting impression as I had heard it before and wanted to find it again in order to write this honest report. Easier thought then done as somehow I googled and DuckDuckGo-ed but somehow Bastürdkunt wouldn’t want to pop up.

I searched for ‘bastard’ and that C word that Londoners say when they hit their toe or stand still in front of a red light, but no results. It Sucks to have a brain like a melted potato as Bastürdkunt has of course nothing in common with ‘bastard’ or that C word. Somehow after going in frontal conspiracy theory mode thinking that either ‘Bastürdkunt’ had never existed, had been deleted or was banned from the evil search engines, I remembered that it was ‘kunt’.

Kunt is in fact a Dutch word for ‘can’. Not as in beer can or can of soup, but as in ‘can’ you give me the can of beer mixed with soup? Amazing, he? Bastürd probably refers to a base of poop; a bass turd so to speak… not sure which Language that is, probably Swedish.

Thanks to googling & DuckDuckGo-Ing for ‘Kunt’ with added keyword ‘bandcamp’ the holy grail of my search was finally found by the return of Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt. Why do I write all this information? Because I keep it real and think as Zückerkünt’s facebüch called ‘Yeah I Know It Sucks’ a ‘journalist’ I might as well mention my sources, troubles and journalistic ways of finding things. Interesting isn’t it? But now that I found Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt you don’t need to go through all the hassle yourself. Because if you wanted Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt… seek no further!

So why do I love Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt and why it came back to me to write to you about it? Why I came back – because I love it & why I love it? That’s a question of taste really. One likes to drink squeezed oranges and another person the contents of a bladder; whatever rows your boat. But I like Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt
Because there is something unique to it. It reminds me of once wandering around in a gothic cave with an extreme poppy tune but loaded in harsh distortion; this absurd combination made me so happy, especially in such a cave environment in which everyone looks like a freak and yet they all take everything way too seriously.

Like girls with pink and green hair and guys in high boots and fishnet suits, faces full of mascara all looking like they attended a funeral while under the influence of some fine XTC pills… a sad -happiness. I don’t think they appreciated the upbeat poppy tune draped in excessive distortion that much, but somehow this made me dance like a ballerina on speed; the same kind of happiness crawls back inside of my own Bastürdkunt when hearing Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt.I mean listening to Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt has this mix that makes harsh noise poppy, digestible and somehow this combo makes me as a individual listener extremely happy.

I’m not sure if Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt is meant to be a happy thing, but it’s hard for me to imagine people crying from sadness over it, mascara all dripped out over their cheeks like a melted possessed doll. There is something jolly to it, like uncle ‘it’ who might have a lot of hair, but you can hear that underneath all the hair there might be the most cutest Adams family member smiling at you. That’s a bit like Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt; if you see through the harsh hairs you can see a smile and a joy…

Listen to the track ‘Discobombulation’ and you might agree or disagree with my personal opinion that the poppy noise is generating a surprising combination. The stern voice of Bastürdkunt and the industrial mechanic sounding rhythm is almost like harsh poetry to the ears & the piano bit that is also included makes it really cozy, as if it is played in a bar in which the floors, seats and ceiling are all made out of wood and the piano had been drinking. (Watch out a Tom Waits reference!)

Have you got a cigarette? is the hit single of this album, clearly hitting that point of harsh noise pop in every angle and corner. The repetition of the intensive and catchy lyrics makes it one of the finer things you will probably hear today. It is also a song for a life-time, something you could pop up and play when you need to approach people for those delicious cigarettes. The crunchy rhythmic noises are like asphalt to the ears and smoke for the nose & the chilled out ending is like listening to pure satisfaction from that sensation when you do eventually got your hands on a cigarette and it’s all lighted and ahhhh lovely the taste of tar and fumes!

Out of Existence’ has this rhythm that my ears dig, like a gravedigger digs the graves, my ears dig this rhythm. It also has a Plan B from Outerspace vibe thanks to the speech that colors it up and in. A more dreadful rhythm is the track with Captain Kirk in it, it feels as if a evil mastermind fought him and tied his nuts to a automatic wood chopper machine. It sounds nicer than I could describe.

The other hit on this album is by definition the horny sounding ‘Transsexual’. It probably is the kind of track that gets some people to run into their ‘safe zones’ to probably sex it up. It’s like so sexy, the voice and noise is like a massive flow of cum coming down your ears… if you don’t like it: evacuate… if you love it; open up wide! …. and that might be the whole lesson of today’s deep analyses of why I think Bastürdkunt’s Bastürdkunt is fun! If it’s not your thing you move along, if it is; embrace this harsh noise pop widely! Oh and never forget it’s Kunt and not cu….

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