Hello, I’m Willy the Wild Reporter reporting from the legendary Gifgrond grounds in Tilburg, The Netherlands. I have been informed that I’ve been a bit too early, as the real events will start today (4 march 2017!) at 11:00 daytime and uhm… it’s now 3 in the early morning. That explains the eternal darkness and lack of crowd at the moment. It does got some great benefits for you the interested person at the other side of the screen; as who knows you might not have known about the upcoming events today & still have some time to pack your bags, jump into the nearest traveling agency and move to Gifgrond!
world-known logo!
Apparently at 11 Yuri Landman (from Bismuth!) will teach willing participants how to build their own Daxophone. Even though the spelling check might not approve ‘Daxophone’ it is actually a real instrument, and not only that; It is an amazing one! The sounds that you could create with it are simply outlandish and so varied that there might be many not even discovered before! I have watched the Daxophone demonstrations online and let me tell you; Husky choirs, wet farts, singing frogs and screeching car-tires are all in a Daxophone’s repertoire! Listen to this wonderful tune by the inventor of the Daxophone (may he rest in peace) and be amazed!
I’m not sure if it is also usable as a telephone, but if you receive a call along the day with strange noises on the other side of the line; it was me operating it successfully!
So, yes I can’t really report on the workshop itself as it isn’t started yet. But I can report on how exciting it is! For the moment I’m just standing in front of a closed door in the early morning darkness. It’s 7 °C degrees here in Tilburg at the moment, so it wasn’t the smartest thing for me to come in flip-flops, shorts and a sleeveless Hawaiian shirt; please dress up warm, people! Only a few long hours for me to wait and go in, I’ve booked myself a seat in the workshop not only to learn how to make my own Daxophone, but most notoriously for the included lunch & mix of coffee and tea! Just the thought on them makes me feel warm already!
I suspect the Daxophone to be finished 1t 16:00! Even though Gifgrond promised that all materials for the Daxophone creation are included, I’ve brought some neon pink colored paint with me to give the thing my own unique wild looks! All the other Daxophone makers will probably turn toxic green from jealousy when I’m finished! After 16:00 I’m not sure what to do, probably attempting to form a band with the fellow Daxophone makers who will obviously declare me as their leader, take them to a secluded toilet facility on the Gifgrond grounds for a rehearsal in order for us to uninvited perform in the night at the millionth episode of the famous GIFGROND party!
These closed doors that I’m standing in front of now, will re-open again for this at 21:00 uur! Even though it is too early to report factually on it, as this too did not happen yet! I can tell you already that the new kid on the block DJ BS will put what’s up down and what’s down up; so we will be guaranteed 100% dancing on the ceiling! No BS! Yes DJ BS!
No BS!
As if dancing upside down on the ceiling with BS isn’t great enough, there will also be META MEAT performing! This is something that makes any heart of a true music reporter tremble from excitement! I’m a big META MEAT fan, having tattooed META on one of my professional reporter’s butt cheek and ‘MEAT’ on the other & you will probably too if you have seen and heard them!
showing off my tatoos in Tilburg’s city center
Their META MEAT’s META MEAT album on Ant-Zen (!!!) is one of the albums that have the rhythmic pulse full of percussions, wondrous eclectic electric strategic sonic sounds that every wild person would be hyped up by! I expect the entire Gifgrond party participants rocking out in a cloud of poisonous armpit sweat! Even though I’ve never seen them live (admittedly stupid for a super-fan) their reputation for being hands on is well spread! Now that I think of it; flip flops, shorts and a Hawaiian t-shirt might be a perfect dressing style to dance to META MEAT! Might even drop my pants to let them sign my tattooed butt-cheeks! META MEAT SOUND & IS AWESOME! Don’t hesistate to check out their album:
The master class Daxophone’s master Bismuth’s Yuri Landman – will also do an enormous set as Bismuth, I’m sure to expect a toy friendly experimental groovy spectacle with gamelan twists, weird casio lo-fi grooves, rock-a-bility, twinkling percussions, oddball melodies and hopefully the Daxophone in all its spectacular action!
Also expected is the unexpectedness from Berry de Jong, from what I’ve heard among fellow investigative reporters is that he is one of the only people in the world who are able to channel his ideas and experiments into music. He is like the border crossing of ideas and dreams, making them come together for us humans to hear and be humbled by. I haven’t done my own research so much, and can’t report on what Berry will do (as this too isn’t happening just yet!) but I’m sure it’s going to melodic and dreamy! In any case DJ BS will lift the roof & Daxophone choirs will haunt the local neighbors for weeks! I can feel that this Gifgrond episode will be yet again the talk of the planet!
Anyway, it’s going to be a great day! And I would love to see you and meet you!
Willy the Wild Reporter @ dichte deur “too early’ GIFGROND, Tilburg, The Netherlands.
doors open for Daxophone workshop 11:00
doors open for Gifgrond party 21:00
more info: http://gifgrond.nl/
Yeah I Know It Sucks 