The Missionaries – Generic Love Songs

Artist: The Missionaries
Title: Generic Love Songs
Keywords: rock Berkeley

Lately we get send in the weirdest things for review consideration, I mean considering that this space is titled ‘yeah I Know It Sucks’ you would think that musicians and bands would avoid us like the plague, but perhaps these brave music makers have a great sense of humor and simply aren’t scared to spread their goodness with lunatics like the ones that publish their words here on this corner of the big cesspool named the internet.

This release by The Missionaries is one of them, playing in my ears like something that wouldn’t have to be send in, as I strongly believe there would probably much better places to go for this album to be talked about. I mean, do these musicians really think this release titled “Generic Love Songs” is one that sucks? Or do they perhaps like to be sucked off by us? I mean this might be understandable as it’s of course a pleasurable act when done by professional suckers that will praise anything into the great glorious stars of heaven that will come their way!

I mean lately I’ve been listening (and sucking up to..) country singers, hip-hop artists and Jesus-pop bands! I wonder what would be next? Polka bands and the management of Britney Spears, Beyoncé and Deejay Tiësto sending in their latest outputs? When that day comes… goth help us, but for now we are on our mission with these The Missionaries… let me open my mouth and suck them off till completion!

Slurrp, slurrp, slurrp, suck, suck, suck!

Maybe it’s better to keep on pleasuring their genitals as here again I’m pretty lost for words… what can I say? Where is my wit? Where are their mistakes and where are their bits to make fun off? Their use of a cowbell? Nah. Their ‘whoohoohoohoohoo’ bit? Nah. Their voices? Nah. Their song writing skills? Nah. Their music in general? Nah. The last resort; their album artwork? Nah, nah, nope, no, no, no, nana… so yup, back on my knees again and ready to swallow the whole load… anyone got a tissue? Just in case it sprays out of my nose holes…
Maybe you can just come over and enjoy their generic love songs while I keep on sucking; pleasure for the whole family! That’s what it’s all about over here at YIKIS and friends!

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