Nobody Likes Techno

Nobody likes techno. It’s just the way it is. It goes on and on just the way that Nobody likes it. Here are some releases that Somebody (me) presumes that Nobody likes. It presumably can’t go wrong with Nobody’s own work, but only Nobody knows & Nobody likes techno… if you are feeling confused right now; trust me, so do I…

Artists: Toxic Chicken & Joel Nobody
Title: Nobody Likes Techno
Keywords: electronic experimental hip hop industrial musique concrète noise techno techno and variations United States
Label: Poverty Electronics

Nobody likes techno, he might not have liked it all the time, but when it was generated by nobody-sounds there was simply a bigger opportunity that Nobody liked it. This liking resulted in a noise techno album generated by the sounds of nobody, all secretly recorded while visiting a specific poisonous poultry at a special temple in the land of smiles. Sneaky as only a Nobody could be, Nobody recorded the meeting as well as the rest of the days in the sun. When arriving back and after the occasional email ping pong of sound exchange, the recorded Nobody sounds fell into place, stamped into a four by four stampede but also managed to ebb away in more compulsive ways. Slowly but surely Nobody’s equal to the chicken’s liking for sounds and experiment took over, even slipping in a comfy melody or some kind of floating drone-vacation.

Artist: ЖЫ
Title: Imbecile Techno / Bidlo Techno
Keywords: experimental, Russia
Label: Bidlo Music

Nobody might like techno, but why is that? Might it because of the repetitions, the sounds that are placed into order, the rhythms that you can feel pinching in the bottoms of your feet? Might it be the room for experimentation, the space in which insanity roams around like a crazy improvisational mouse that runs all over a sampler keyboard-system to pleasure Nobody’s needs? Might it be the radio friendly idiotic madness that is generated by modern day acid micro dosing hipsters? ЖЫ seems to have taken all these elements in able to colorfully take the piss over the genre that Nobody likes & somehow it feels like a interesting case of fun, someone might like it a lot! A whole arsenal of sounds, samples and raw improvised material that are all passing the middle finger friendly revue over here…

Artist: The Six Million Dollar Guitar
Title: Allergic to techno
Keywords: ambient instrumental rock fusion guitar satriani Vancouver

Nobody likes to be allergic, especially to techno. Luckily The Six Million Dollar Guitar has the cutest cure; a funky danceable album of extreme lengthy tracks that quietly stimulate the likings of Nobody’s liked genre, but in a way that it’s camouflaged in some kind of danceable guitar solo expression, one with a steady flow in rhythm, a thing that smoothens out any stiffness that the techno disease might have created. No more muscle pains, no boring electricity, but a feel good elixir of funk on that rhythm that nobody likes and nobody can’t resist to wobble & dance around on. With these lengthy techno antidotes to swing the nightly ambience will settle in. All in all not a bad experience to be hopelessly allergic to techno, as the curing alternative is groovy as hell. Nobody will like it, Nobody loves the guitar expressions… I’m sure of it!

Artists: various
Title: Say No To Techno
Keywords: techno , rave
Label: Sirona-records

Maybe nobody likes techno, but as these cases of releases are proving; the act of liking it might turn you into someone with mental health problems, alienate you from others or simply give you a rash al over your allergic Nobody’s body. The solution is simple against the infectious disease that is techno; say no to techno! Back in the old days the classic nobodies like Psycho Mum, Chorles Monson, the Pink Blob and co coined the phrase in their compilation to wipe up the need to hear techno once and for all. Now it’s being picked up by some kind of party (I’ve seen the posters covering the walls and bus stops!) and let’s say that it doesn’t look good if the party continues to sneak in techno under the false claim to be not techno! Nobody would like that! Nobody deserves to be tricked, Nobody wants to say no to techno!

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