artist: Petunia-Liebling MacPumpkin
title: I Left My Heart In Uncanny Valley
keywords: experimental, art pop, electronic, lofi, lounge, no wave, outsider music, psychedelic, Gibsonton
label: Electric Phantom Productions
Greetings and salutations folks. I’ve been vacationing in the Realm of Bad Tidings & Red Linguine
When, what to my very eyes, did an interdimensional distortion portal appear in front of my eyes, in forms of dazzling colored lights! Except, I can’t go through it. Annnnd I can’t really see into it either, but hey I sure can hear from it. An audio portal! What journey shall it take me on, I wonder…
Laughter and some tones to take a walk to. Hm, what’s this? Uncanny Valley? Sounds like a charming place. The person singing seems to think so, why else would they be spending a lot of time there? And not feel blue? Why, my initial charm sense was right on the mark. I do a little happy dance and wait for more.
Slightly sinister keys and a tale of some Mr. Button Eyes. Oh and some puppet lips telling secrets. I know all about this. The red linguine has been non stop telling me bad tidings. Go figure. Alright, maybe it’s something similar. Hey, I use it to get away. To each their own. A creepy and crawl across my skin as I presume Button Eyes speaks to my very being! EGADS! What is this? It seems the portal is enacting things upon my very bodice. For my eyes have become buttons! Woo. Telepathic shenanigans commence and before I know it, another tale is being sung.
A snap and a flash and my newly gained arachnid vision disappears. Yet, the portal seems to be buzzing, and something is coming through…WHAT COULD IT BE?!?!
Ah yes, if it isn’t my good friend Puddles from the Devonian age. He has come to give me backaches and also to groove along to the briny deep tones. Loungey, loungey tones. I can’t help but get noodly. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten the linguine. This tale and it’s notes remind me heavily of a cinespatic spectacle I once watched called Liquid Sky. It brings about good memories of androgyny, excellent fashion, and an alien run amok. I start to slip beneath the waves as the portal snaps Puddles away from me.
Clickity clack. Tic toc? It must be a clock!
And so one appears! It started whispering me about sales going on in a department store, and I was grateful for the tip. One can never say no to being informed of a good deal. I’m afraid time must have brought my ears to a rather dilapidated state, and so all I hear are tidbits of machinery. The clock looks at me in disappointment as it heads back through the portal.
Those sweet riffs. A doctor. Toy. Happy. That makes me happy. It makes me feel sweet. Sweet as sugar.
As if the portal was reading my mind, sugar crystals spring up about me, along with some text. I take a bite out of the text and the sugar, and start getting down. And we dance, dance, dance and we dance, dance, dance. My sugar supply is doing well. But then, horror strikes. The sugar is gone! I ate it all up. Expect me to crash in five or so minutes.
Mad hatters. Oh, bats, eh? RIDDLE ME THIS, RIDDLE ME THAT, WHO IS AFRAID OF THE BIG BLACK BAT?!?! Excuse me some whimsical fancy has been brought up.
Jibber jabber, wocky wocky and parties. Lovely sights I have not due to lack of visual data being transmitted from the portal, but at least it got me this cool hat. I might be able to attend the ball at this point. Or well, maybe not. The hat went away. A sad time indeed.
I look behind me and start to see this city with bright lights force it’s way into the background! What happened to my sweet pecked darkness?
Electric collagen was my forte when I was moonlighting as a wrinkle expert down by the docks. This seems a much more professional setting, so I kept my experience to myself. No doubt they would judge me for the heathen I am. That being said, doesn’t look like anybody else is really here, unless the whole place was taken over by a sentient race of street lamps hellbent on world domination. OH NO THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
The city backed away and started feeling rather cramped.
Oh no. Maybe I’m the one that’s breathing and making the bad noises in the crawlspace? I am in there. If so, my apologies. If anyone knows the value of having a good nights sleep, I sure as shit do not, but I know the sentiment and that’s what I’m adhering to right now. Crawl spaces in Uncanny Valley (at least I am assuming that this is one from there. perhaps it also ate the linguine and became rather canny, although I guess it would need to eat cans to get to that point). I’m scared. Maybe I’m in the crawlspace with the thing. MacReady save me! IT JUST SAID HELLO. GET ME OUT.
Thankfully, some helpful string decided to pull me out right quick.
Being tossed and moved in all sorts of unholy positions like some marionnette. At least I’m pretty in my not very gracefulness. I dare not look up though. It might have just been the thing all along and now it’s just toying with my frail frame. But a few cuts and snips and I am free, free falling back to the typical blackscape of the Realm of Bad Tidings & Red Linguine.
Now believe you me, I am quite certain this realm cannot properly interpret the uncanniness that is Uncanny Valley, for the tale of Charles brought forth a cricket. I was besides myself, and that weas besides itself.
A fun tale, which someone made us ride the Charles crickets. My others selves rode off into the distance, and my mount followed suit. The damn insect bastard. I was going to have them over for tea.
Ha! I haven’t danced with a zombie since the hootenanny of XX77!
Sweet croons, reminding me of different places, as this representation of Charley swings me round and round in something akin to a waltz. The one I’m hearing about seems like a very kind person. Someone to share the moves with. Too bad I’m all out. Next turn.
“Now hey there whippersnapper…” he calls through the distance.
“You better bring that dancing over here.”
“Give me some fiisssshhh…”
I felt that was too intimate request to act upon so I looked at him kindly. I don’t know why my grandpa decided to ask for such at a thing at this time, but I feel the disconnect between my vacation realm and the other is too great, because I all hear about is fish, and about how someone doesn’t have a car. Ha! If only said person knew fish drove Edsels, then maybe he could borrow it.
He started to fade away with a cryptic whisper of advice: “Let the hair flow through you…”
Oh how my eternal battle with those dame seals, those damn pinnipedia rages to this day. This is supposed to be a vacation! Stop trying to pounce me you jerk! If only I had gotten some fish from the last song, then maybe I could ward off this usurper. Well, maybe we can play a few games of backgammon and it will forget that it had an appointment at 2:30 with a dentist. Checkmate. Finito. I win. I think. Either way, get me away from this seal!
As if to answer my call, the whole area started spinning and I wound up in…
While I am certain Bermuda is beautiful, I do not need to get into yet another air transportation disaster. And this place is prone to this type of stuff! My bets on a magical vortex that sucks all power of all that goes against creation, BUT HEY, that’s just my theory. OH NO THE TRIANGLE AT THE LINGUINE. DUCK!!!
Now, I had always thought that a monad was one thing, ya know, like Elohim. Maybe they’re the same thing. I don’t know. Needless to say, finding out it had a sibling was, shocking. I was flustered and flabbergasted. Two what was one, blah, division, reflections. They sort of just stared at me and tried to bum a few smokes before settling on making a hat out of a grocery bag and sashaying away.
I have been spooked. For, I didn’t see the ghost hiding behing one of the monads.
I didn’t have a phone handy, so I couldn’t exactly call the Ghostbusters. I also didn’t have any peace left, so much for that. I decided to ask a question.
“Is there ghost toast?”
“Yes. It’s pretty good.”
“Do you cover it with ectoplasm instead of butter?”
It gave an offended hmph and went to bother someone else. Well, not it bothered me, I’ve never been dead and I really love toast. Oh I seem to have forgotten I was listening to something, though rest assured I’m sure I experienced something like it.
And such a something like it indeed. What a splendid collection of tracks. I think I’m tempted to leave my own heart in that place. Now where did I put it…?
Well…that’s uh…a problem…
Thank you for listening to my tales of relaxation while basking in the sounds of Uncanny Valley. I hoped you enjoyed them. And I hope you will check out the link below to at the very least listen BUT YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY PICK THIS ALBUM UP BECAUSE IT IS FANTASTIC AND FABULOUS AND GREAT AND I REALLY ENJOYED IT SO YOU SHOULD TOO.
To pick up this amazing release go here: