Anna X – Professional Headcleaner

Artist: Anna X
Title: Professional Headcleaner
Keywords: electronic plunderphonics post-industrial power electronics power noise Death Valley

It’s the time of the year, it’s the big clean up! We don’t mean cleaning up the house, but you know; your head! No need to put a vacuum cleaner hose against your ear or nose hole to get away with the dusty grains that had gathered inside it, simply because there is a professional headcleaner on the market; one forcefully crafted by Anna x, who gives us plenty of reasons to stop, turn back or press pause to enjoy the silence…

But once you ignore the warnings and simply go for Anna X’s professional head cleaning scene you will be rinsed, sucked out, tormented, hoovered up, blasted away and partially teleported to be spit out violently against a wall. Anna X’s head cleaning will shoot up your mind leaving enough bullet holes to get the sick making juices out, splashing them up with toxic delirious-generating noises that have enough sucking powers to flush your entire brain down the drain. That will do the trick, maybe it’s a bit drastic, but I’m sure Anna X will keep some brain cells behind. (If you are lucky!)

As the work flow things might be a bit nasty, but they are truly professional. Anna X even brought the big roaring lion over to make sure the sucked out brain will be deliciously defecated on. The ears will feel as if they had been smashed to pieces while a jokisch lost marching band member will happily parade a drum roll here and there. It’s not the only thing that Anna X brings in to decorate the ways of professional head cleaning; there is a whole bunch of cultural artifacts parading around; from animal documentary voice overs, to social youtube commentators and whatnot. In the end there is even someone repetitively shouting ‘shut the hell up’, clearly satisfying anyone in need for some worldly battering. Some acid sounds might also be used to beat you into becoming clean and specifically butters. But don’t worry the ‘butters state’ is probably just temporary until the entire session is done and nicely wrapped up.

But whatever Anna X is using to clean your head, it isn’t as nasty or unlistenable or painful as these warning shots at the beginning will make you believe that it is; it’s in fact a tornmentious listenable work with lots of repetitive energy banging around; sure, its fairly loud and distorted at most of the times, but definitely more pleasant than visiting a popular fast food chain. There is also clearly much more work placed into it, it’s not like listening to a recording of a working vacuum cleaner, but a significant experience with lots of details to hear and wonder about.

There are some very painful higher frequencies here and there, but if you have lots and lots of experiences listening to nasty noise ‘music’ you might not even register them (surprisingly hearing damage can be helpful sometimes!) … I feel that whatever it is that Anna X is doing, it’s clear that she doesn’t approaches your head gently, but simply knows what to do and how to do it. You can trust Anna X, as professionalism seems to be determent to get the job done.

However if you have a fear of the dentist, the so called ‘Dentist phobia’; you might need to skip one specific cleaning ritual on this set by Anna X, as that one might you rather opt for letting your teeth rot and fall out than ever going to see such a doctor ever (again). The liberty Bell rinsing moment might make you want to stand up from your chair, salute the wonky stars while slowly letting your body fluids drip down your respective legs. But don’t worry; its all part of the process to make your head all nice, clean and Fresh. In the end all the bad bits will be nicely banged out or all will simply have ran away until we are left with a hygienic head in which a peaceful dose of fentanyl shudders lightly in the background. All in all, the cleaning situation might not be pleasant, but when it’s all done you will have a guaranteed smile on your face from being happily relieved & thanks to the knowhow that it’s all done!

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1 Response to Anna X – Professional Headcleaner

  1. Anna X says:

    Thank you very much for your review! Glad you liked it… I think? I hope to make more listenable content in the future. As for now, I appreciate this brilliant critique of my album.

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