Graham Dunning – Music For Climbing Walls

Artist: Graham Dunning
Title: Music For Climbing Walls
Keywords: electronic, acid, dance, psychedelic, experimental, techno

Climbing up a wall had never been a dream of mine. I remember being summoned to a wall climbing place by a desperate gym teacher. He said that if I didn’t turn up he wouldn’t let me pass school, as apparently he didn’t really appreciated me never showing up to any of the gym classes. That day I did showup, but did not go and climb up that wall. I figured out that the teacher never had said that I needed to participate, he just said that I needed to show up. And so I did, clearly having no intention to climb up a rediculous climbing wall. What’s the point of it? Certainly no need to do it for the view up there…

In the end I somehow did hold some kind of rope in my hand while some horrific trollish looking guy dangled above me, clearly attached to the other side of it. The view (if I looked up) was horrific, really. The troll’s junk was visibly vile, bulging out of the ugliest micro shorts I had ever seen. I’m normally not dirty from the male genital area, but from this guy… it somehow made me feel sick in my stomach. If that wasn’t enough, I also had to stand back, as a line of drool seemingly kept dangling out from his mouth… He was ofcourse  strapped into the security stuff to make him believe he would be secured if he had ever to make a mistake and had to  fall down the wall that he was trying to climb up…

My job was of course to make sure he would not drop down, I was unwillingly charged with holding onto the rope and save his life (and probably break my back) if the troll-in-shorts would come falling down to meet and greet earth’s surface. This climber was clearly  in trouble as I knew if he would fall, I would just let the rope slip and blame it to temporary insanity. To me being temporarily blinded by the bulging bulge dangling above my head. After all nobody had told me I had to do this either, I just had to be there… And now I was getting all these kind of responsibilities that no teacher should  have given me.. unless the gym teacher did not feel any liking to the troll climber too and wasn’t very worried if he would have a little accident… He might have thought that he  would probably bounce up anyway, with his enormous ballbag as a fall breaker… I started to wonder if he was wearing rolled up socks in there… Was it real or imagined but I could smell cheese!

In any case he climbed and climbed… Eventually reaching the top and than with full confidence jumped down as if he was some kind of experienced cliff hanger. I let the rope slip and indeed he very quickly landed painfully on his butt. Surprisingly his enormous sack didn’t help him at all, if anything it might even made him even be in more pain… I felt sorry for him but was also somehow relieved that it was over and that he did not fall on top of my head: the scrotum in my face would probably be the final thing I would see in that life…

Why am I writing you this real life story? I guess because ‘music for climbing walls’ brought me to these memories. As even though the scene might have been horrific, somehow I can’t really seem to forget it either. And the electronic acid techno kind of dancable experimental music by Graham Dunning certainly feels like the kind of material that gives way to these kind of memories. It doesn’t stand in front of them or does nothing to redirect my mind to any other kind of wall climbing stories. Just the one of me being there in front of the wall, a dangling weirdo above me and my head sinking away in a deep fantasy world, anything that my mind could come up with just to make time pass and not actually be there anymore. This music would have been great to do the trick…

Now after all those years, I wish this release of music existed back than and I somehow could hear it while being there in that situation. I somehow know that it would have made it all so much more better, easier and even enjoyable. I would still not climb up that wall myself, but for some reason I think the music would have made it a more fun and surreal experience. I can imagine looking at the other climbers with this music grooving around, probably making them climb in some kind of rhythmic timing that would have made the whole ordeal in to a much more comical sensation than without. Even the drool and the sight of the bulging sausage and potato’s in micro shorts worn by the most unappetizing person available in my class would be coming across like something more festive, like a figurative figurant in a video clip for all the grooves on Graham Dunning ‘music for wall climbing’ tracks.

Somehow the music for climbing walls’ just started to alter my memory of the real life events, forcing itself into it and making them a adorable ‘what if’ kind of situation. These rhythmic bubbling sensations somehow made everything a bit more flowery, in fact it changed the skinny shorts in to one with pink bright flowers and the bulging scrotum of disgust into a bouncing disco ball. Even the dangling line of drool from the guy’s mouth became something glittering and beautiful. The gym teacher started to wiggle his firm butt, finally appreciating that I had shown up and brought some good music to the premises. The rope in my hand became a skipping rope in which other class mates would jump in and out as if they had been at a rave for groovy gymnasts. And when the moment came that the troll boy fall down, he did not hurt himself, but indeed now bounced around on his own scrotum like a oversized bouncing ball all over the place, perfectly balanced within the rhythm of Graham Dunning’s acid lines.

At one point in this new formed memory I even climb up that wall myself , without rope or unflattering security, but with the music as my stimulating friend pushing me up there as if I hadn’t been afraid of heights at all. Up there I danced and imagined that I’ve just climbed one of donald trump’s walls, gloriously escaping his country and happily jumping down into the more adventurous looking mexico! Yep, the music of Graham Dunning was making me trip off my tits, but it made my revised memory of climbing walls’ a so much more worthwhile colorful positive experience. Thank you Graham Dunning for that change of mind and perspective .. climbing walls’ doesn’t have to be so bad with music like this around!

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