Five alternative Christmas Music thingies!

Christmas days are a bit like bailiffs, wether you like it or not; they will be around and always coming back for you. No place to hide, really… every corner a decorated tree, lights, bearded dolls, shiny balls and lots and lots of bad music. Think Mariah Carey’s ‘all I want for Christmas’ and wham’s ‘last Christmas’ on repeat from every corner and tell me with a straight face that it isn’t hell. Luckily there are some sparkles of hope that will make this year’s torture into one that might be actually a much more pleasant one. You could just wrap your ears in a pair of headphones, put a pair of blindfolds on, or just get a large Christmas hat and pull it all the way down over your face; blocking all the festive surroundings and let you delightfully emerge in some of the finest underground Christmas materials that will make this time of the year not so bad at all.

Here are some music suggestions that will make you feel like you are a part of it, without going in the tormented scrooge mood!

Artists: Equinox x Xqui
Title: XXmas Kiss
Keywords: experimental
Label: Wormhole World

First of all there is this really sexy Christmas audio gift given to the world by Wormhole World, one that will make you squirm in your Christmas sock filling it up with orgasmic juices just by the sheer seductive sounds of it all. Think of the best underground label that cares about its listeners and it’s artists sensually whispering in your ears, caressing your soul with sweetest kisses, licking with love the puss out of your ears so you can enter the new year all clean, fresh and beloved. It’s short, so glittering and sensual that it’s gone before you are even able to climax! Best Christmas alternative hit ever!
https://wormholeworld.bandcamp.com/track/xxmas-kiss

Artist: SCALASOFT SYSTEMS
title: Christmas at Azure Atoll
Keywords: christmas electronic holiday holiday music mallsoft mallstalgia nostalgia post-mallsoft tropical island vaporwave vintagesoft Portland
Label: Girly Girl Musik

Of course a Christmas hit can be heard on repeat forever and deep into infinity, but sometimes you just want to hear a more diversity in Christmas allure, one that brings that classy classic feeling of al the famous Christmas songs back into a decent undergroud no-audience sound that will delightfully make the stench of commercialism blow itself out of the nearest chimney & instead brings the sound of forgotten romantic snowy days as if they are washed ashore. You can hear them being riding the waves of cozy memories from a golden past in which internet probably did not exist and people would still light candles in their Christmas trees. So you can be guarantied that this is a wonderful alternative Christmas soundtrack for the elderly who have lived through all the wars & for all generations of a much more youthful age. Jingle bells all the way over at the other end of this link:
http://girlygirlmusik.bandcamp.com/album/christmas-at-azure-atoll

Artist: Roi
Title: Christmas Morn
Keywords: alternative christmas independent indie lo fi lo-fi singer songwriter uk world music Sydney
Label: Metal Postcard

Now you might be the kind of person who can handle Christmas music but doesn’t really feel much to listen to something that will make your demented relics in the family go ‘eureka’ at certain times (a thing that would certainly happen if you played them the previously discussed ‘ Christmas at Azure Atoll ‘ album. So If that is you, than you might be pleased to hear this new single by Roi called ‘Christmas Morn’ as it’s too new and absolutely fresh enough to make sure that no great grand mother would suddenly stand up and dance in a state of recognition if exposed to it. Roi’s song is a heartwarming sensation for all ages though, with a very caring warm sound generated by guitar and ultra pleasant sounding voice. It’s the kind of song that goes into your heart at first listen, making it a memorable one that will always stay with you, hopefully finally tossing out the bad Christmas hits for you from the inside out. By the way; You might recognise this handsome sincere sounding voice, which instantly means that you are a person of good music taste, but if not; my lips are sealed as not recognising means you have probably been getting your music suggestions from elsewhere. Check out Roi’s Christmas Morn, as it is the only way to go:
https://metalpostcard.bandcamp.com/album/roi-christmas-morn

Artist: AEON / Salis
Title: Santa
Keywords: ambient electronic experimental modern classical United Kingdom
Label: cathedral transmissions

For the Christmas mood lovers that rather keep their music tightly lipped, the ones that prefer not to have any words within their Christmas soundtrack because they are potentially paranoid that they might confuse the drunk Christmas party attendees their chatter with lyrics and viva versa, there is ‘Santa’ by AEON / Salis. It’s one of these special pieces of Christmas music that can actually be enjoyed all year round, people might never even notice that it’s the sound of Santa coming out of the speakers on a hot and sunny summers day. That’s the beauty of this soundtrack, as it’s the kind of material that is not in your face, calming ambiance with rhythmic elements that could make you believe that you just saw a sleigh flying out in the sky, while it actually just being some kind of trippy drone that is flying over in sound form. I don’t know about you, but I do prefer this Santa much more than the one invented by the Coca Cola company. Much less hairy, more pretty, likeable, loving and huggable too!
https://cathedraltransmissions.bandcamp.com/album/santa

Artist: Agnès Pe
Title: MIDI SCORE SCALES IN GRINCHY TUNES
Keywords: experimental anticopyright Burgos
Label: Crystal Mine

Once the moment comes that you are in drastic need to kindly show your Christmas guests the door, you might be in need for something cheerful that also might help them to exit a little quicker than usual. The ones that will stay around will be automatically upgraded in your book of best friends/family members as they must cool happy people to enjoy this Christmas album by Agnes Pe. It covers the big hits in a menacing speedy way, nicely glitched up for great hilarity. Even the Christmas bells themselves are in there ringing their way out towards the nearest exit! They must be not cool enough! In any case, the quirky upends of these merry Christmas tunes are good food to either make you smile and laugh historically, or make you want to leave the erratic sheer in rapid speed!
http://crystalmine.bandcamp.com/album/midi-score-scales-in-grinchy-tunes

And with these five recommendations we have established the end of some of the alternative Christmas tunes that have been going around our office space at the moment, let’s hope there is more to come as we got to use a lot of alternative Christmas bits of music to barricade our ears in order not to let the sounds of ‘all I want for Christmas’ and the annoying ‘last Christmas’ songs come in to torture our sane heads into broken ones!

<the grinch>