Ask An Adult – Ask An Adult (None)

In the album art for Ask An Adult’s self-titled album… well, as you can see for yourself, it’s laundry day at Mutant Inc, as this monster’s wearing some tighty-whities, tube socks and a wife-beater.

Artist: Ask An Adult
Title: Ask An Adult
Label: None
Cat#: None
Keywords: Rock, Energetic, Jazz-Funk, Progressive
Reviewer: Alex Spalding

There are a lot of things I learned from watching film adaptations of Stephen King novels. That getting a blowjob while driving is probably not always a great idea, that going to prom with John Travolta is not a dream come true after all, that sometimes dead is beddah, that Tim Curry can literally do anything… that sometimes they come back… again! One of the big ones, though, a recurring element, is that monsters are baaaad news.

All LIES!

Here’s an album from some boogie men and women that you’re gonna love. These are some expert-level funksters, no one can step.

It begins with a glorious six seconds titled ‘Ah Wiggety Wack!’. I’m instantly overjoyed, as I recall Kris Kross’ single ‘Jump’, the first piece of music I ever owned actually. Had the cassette. Even used to wear my shit all backwards, mac’in hard at the sock hop. No joke, I’m about to school you, check it:

Whoomp! (There It Is)… STILL, in 2014.

The next track, ‘Drunken Karate’, really sets the album off. It’s like getting one of Bruce Lee’s 6-inch punches to the junk. Begins with some scat-vox, a bass guitar, some weird talky-voicy effects… then it gets kind of psychobilly, but really funky, just ultra-bizarro. I’m getting vibes of everything weird, from GWAR to Reverend Horton Heat to Primus to White Zombie, even a little bit of Devo thrown in. It’s strangely progressive, too… like progressive rock re-imagined as a soundtrack for grotesque carnival sideshows.

Then… ‘The Announcement’. It wastes no time in bludgeoning you with a metal stick, while the shrieks of harpies fill your ears. I’m loving the use of weird effects on sounds throughout, and the vocals seem to be capable of an intense range of freaky expression! The lyrics are amazing, too… I don’t know exactly what they are saying, but it sounds like “a single man walked in bathroom / a single man watching you pee / a single man, what did he ask you / don’t fucking touch me” and then some crying, and some really nice electronic toy-synth melody for a wonderful finish.

‘Brosef Stalin’ has a lot of energy and hilarity! It’s one of my favourites on the album.

‘Pterodactyl Noises’ is just wild, a huge amount of fun with insanely varied hard rock form. The maniacal monster-movie-marathon laughs are perfect.

Like taking a horse for a drive down a dusty Vegas strip is ‘Tightrope’. This is… probably the weirdest sound voyage on the whole album… it literally feels like I’m drunk and can’t figure out if I’m at a rodeo, a rock concert, a cabaret variety show or if I’m just dead and imagining all of this while Bruce Willis tries to send me to the white light by forming a friendship with a small child who’s the only one who can see me.

Now we’re moving along, to ‘Bourgeois Pig’. It gets a surf rock drum groove going with a steady rhythm guitar and just puts it’s signature layer of weirdness over the whole thing! Freaky! It’s kind of got a swing to it.

‘Daddy’s On The Drink Again’ gets heavy and I’m loving the strange noises and atmospheres, it’s a really thick track and there’s even some sax in the mix! Heavy heavy monster sound.

Then it’s ‘Night Terrors’, which brings in piano, a nice touch. “I’m tired of pooping in my dreams” — I think. I just had to laugh, I’m not even sure of this. I love the whole breakdown section with the rolling bass kicks and arpeggiating noises.

The final song is ‘Freedumb’! It begins with melodic guitars. A gruff voice enters, followed by the operatic female vocal… then it goes nuts again, right into the heavy prog-rock funk and weirdness.

You’ve just gotta hear this one, so I’ll sneak you a link:

http://askanadult.bandcamp.com/